I know I would have never spent around S$600 on just about anything except maybe an air ticket to somewhere exotic. But just the other day I spent that exact amount on a new mobile phone. I felt quite miserable afterward though and wondered what on earth have I done to myself.
Mobile phones are electronic devices many people in this world today are using. Given the high levels of societal mobile phone service penetration, mobile phones are, as mentioned in Wikipedia, key means for people to communicate with one another.
Whilst its function may appear important and convenient to many, yet in my opinion, mobile phones are just another form of luxury the world is currently into. So little do I think having a mobile phone is very necessary, and I remember arguing with dad about this…
Dad once told me that I “needed” a mobile phone if I ever were to live in Singapore. But I told him that it was an overstatement because I could survive and have been surviving without one nonetheless. So I sticked to my belief and for a while lived my life without having a mobile phone.
Furthermore, I think mobile phones are liable to damage and loss if one isn’t careful. I’ve heard of cases whereby mobile phones stopped working within a day or two after purchase, and even more cases of misplaced and stolen ones actually. So I didn’t quite agree to ‘gambling’ my money on these devices.
But just the other day I bought a new mobile phone. Ironic it may seem, but I bought the mobile after thinking I probably really ‘need’ one especially because the mobile I was using at that moment was dad’s and that it didn’t seem to be working so well anymore.
So the other day I checked out a range of mobile phones and catalogues at a shop in the city to see what’s good. Been doing so since months back in fact but hadn’t found something that I truly like I guess...
And to start with, I didn’t even know what to look for when buying a new mobile phone given all the new series they’ve produced - the last time I cared about buying a mobile was way back in early 2003, when mobile phones weren’t of such great range yet.
And only after speaking to a worker in a mobile phone shop that I visited the other day could I end up making a decision...
And so on that day I got myself a Nokia Symbian Smartphone. I spent about S$600 in that mobile phone shop just to get myself a new mobile. But because I quite like the phone so I presume it’s not too bad after all.
Like its name, my smartphone comes with not only free maps but also a GPS system (and all the “oodles of functionality” and “decent look” it has in it has now started to excite me).
But I knew I didn’t have to spend ‘that’ much just to get myself a new mobile phone. Then again, the cheap ones were just too basic and the moderately expensive ones (S$200++) looked like they’re made for teenagers.
Still, I can’t believe I’ve forked out half a thousand dollars on a mobile phone, really. And I know I might have underestimated mobile phone prices given my lack of knowledge on the recent mobile sales.
But whatever it is, I’ve already burnt quite a big hole in my pocket now and so am only hoping that all will turn out well with regards to this new phone that I am currently using.
Anyhow, just in case you might be interested, below’s an embedded video documentary on mobile phones I came across on Youtube one day. Do check it out!
Showing posts with label Thoughts and Observation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thoughts and Observation. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
Grandpa's death and my personal discovery.
My grandfather passed away on Sunday, 6th July 2008. He was 79 years old at the time of passing. I miss him dearly and am still deeply saddened by his death. Nevertheless I pray for the best for him, and hope that one day in life after death, God would reunite us as I really wish to see him and speak to him again like I used to. May God answer my prayer. Amen.
-------------------------------------------The day he died-------------------------------------
In the not-so-early morning of Sunday, 6th July, I received a call from mum who said that grandpa was very sick. Well, grandpa was not someone with a chronic disease or even serious illness, so the news was to some extent alarming to me. However, because of his old age conditions, I have been receiving such news of late and so the phone call, though quite alarming, did not convince me of his real conditions on that day, if you understand what I mean...
So I took my time to get ready to visit grandpa and even re-scheduled my plans on how I should be spending the day. My initial plan was to spend the day shopping at Orchard Road with my beloved husband, Kenji, but later on, I re-scheduled my plans to visiting grandpa first and then shopping at Orchard later.
At noon, Nunun and Asyraf came over to my place and Nunun, who had seen grandpa earlier that day, told me how grandpa was. With a bit of knowledge of the signs of death in hand, I finally understood that grandpa was dying and that I realised I wanted to see him urgently.
In the car, I called up a cousin (whom I think probably didn't get the news about grandpa's deteriorating conditions) and told him that grandpa was dying.
When I arrived at grandpa's place later, I found the flat very quiet and empty. I asked my dad who was standing close to the door where everyone was and dad pointed to grandpa's room. I walked over to the room and upon reaching the room, I heard voices of women reading Surah Yaasin and the Quran rather loudly as though it was a Quran recital class.
I entered the room and saw grandpa lying on bed and a few other people, mainly my uncles, aunts and cousins, surrounding him were sobbing. Mum asked if I wanted to say out loud the phrase "Laailahaillallah..." to grandpa's ears. She also asked if I wanted to read the Surah Yaasin for him, but I rejected every request mum had asked of me including an invitation to sit next to grandpa. I don't know why.
I guess at that time all I wanted to do was to just watch grandpa as I still wasn't too sure if he was dying. So I came close to grandpa afterward and watched him. I even touched him gently on the hand.
To me, grandpa didn't look like he was dying. His facial expression was calm. Everything else about him appeared cool. It's just that he seemed as though he was having a bit of difficulty breathing. Still, I have seen him in a worse state than that before.
Minutes later, grandpa became more and more lifeless. If he could recite "Laailahaillallah" minutes ago, now, only his eyes were moving.
Grandpa died at 3:05pm. I was there with a few others in his room. We watched him die and at that point in time, I have begun to miss him already.
The burial took place the following day. Murni and Hasan, who have just left for Perth on Friday night, made it home that Monday morning. And I was so glad they did.
-------------------------------------------What I Learnt--------------------------------------
I never knew that the death of someone close to my heart could take away so much of my energy. I went to work the following day (after the day he was buried) and felt as though I was behaving like a zombie as I walked around school, not being able to produce emotions. I couldn’t get angry, I couldn’t be happy, I couldn’t even produce a smile. It was as though the feelings that I had deep in my heart had all hardened and all that I had become on that day was a robot with my grandfather on my mind.
I also felt weak and tired, perhaps from all the crying I had done in the few days. So in class, I wasn't able to project my voice like how I always could. So I told my students about my grandpa’s death and informed them about how I was feeling on that day. I told them not to make me angry in any way as I felt so fragile and as though I could brittle way too easily. I never knew that sadness had taken away so much of my energy :(
As I made my way to school earlier on in the day, I came across some old men on the road. Those old men were carrying what seemed to be their grandchildren’s schoolbags as they walk their grandchildren to school. Seeing those grandfathers around reminded me very much of my own grandfather and back in those days when he’d pick me up from school and buy me nice stickers, stamps and bookmarks from shops we had passed by. Recalling those moments had hurt me a little. And without realising, tears welled up my eyes as I walked past those children and their grandfathers. Certainly, I didn't know that seeing other people with their grandfathers on that day could hurt me ‘that’ much.
In school, I did some marking of my students work. As I was marking pages of piles of Activity books in school, I came across a short story about a grandfather and a grandson. The short story wasn't something new to me as I have read the passage to the class a week ago before the children were made to do the work. Still, reading the text hurt me very much and I remember many times during the marking had I have tears welling up my eyes. But I managed to keep those tears from falling, so it was good. At least I didn’t embarrass myself there and then. But what I learnt from this experience was that I became very sensitive over things that have got to do with the recently departed loved one, which, unexpectedly include stories that I have read that didn't have any impact on me previously.
Grandpa's death took place exactly a week after Murni's wedding. And I know I have a thousand and one reasons to thank God for it. At least grandpa could attend Murni's wedding and didn't pass away then. I mean, imagine what it would be if grandpa had passed away on Murni's wedding day...I can't imagine.
In life, I've always prayed that grandpa would live long enough to see me getting married. And I didn't know that God had given me so much more than what I have prayed for. I only knew about it when I saw grandpa at Murni's wedding - grandpa was alive but not kicking, very different from the day he attended mine. He seemed to have enjoyed himself so much then. But really, I didn't know that God had given me so much, in fact, a lot more than what I have asked for.
*Post was written on Saturday, July 12, 2008, and first published on Sept 04, 2008*
-------------------------------------------The day he died-------------------------------------
In the not-so-early morning of Sunday, 6th July, I received a call from mum who said that grandpa was very sick. Well, grandpa was not someone with a chronic disease or even serious illness, so the news was to some extent alarming to me. However, because of his old age conditions, I have been receiving such news of late and so the phone call, though quite alarming, did not convince me of his real conditions on that day, if you understand what I mean...
So I took my time to get ready to visit grandpa and even re-scheduled my plans on how I should be spending the day. My initial plan was to spend the day shopping at Orchard Road with my beloved husband, Kenji, but later on, I re-scheduled my plans to visiting grandpa first and then shopping at Orchard later.
At noon, Nunun and Asyraf came over to my place and Nunun, who had seen grandpa earlier that day, told me how grandpa was. With a bit of knowledge of the signs of death in hand, I finally understood that grandpa was dying and that I realised I wanted to see him urgently.
In the car, I called up a cousin (whom I think probably didn't get the news about grandpa's deteriorating conditions) and told him that grandpa was dying.
When I arrived at grandpa's place later, I found the flat very quiet and empty. I asked my dad who was standing close to the door where everyone was and dad pointed to grandpa's room. I walked over to the room and upon reaching the room, I heard voices of women reading Surah Yaasin and the Quran rather loudly as though it was a Quran recital class.
I entered the room and saw grandpa lying on bed and a few other people, mainly my uncles, aunts and cousins, surrounding him were sobbing. Mum asked if I wanted to say out loud the phrase "Laailahaillallah..." to grandpa's ears. She also asked if I wanted to read the Surah Yaasin for him, but I rejected every request mum had asked of me including an invitation to sit next to grandpa. I don't know why.
I guess at that time all I wanted to do was to just watch grandpa as I still wasn't too sure if he was dying. So I came close to grandpa afterward and watched him. I even touched him gently on the hand.
To me, grandpa didn't look like he was dying. His facial expression was calm. Everything else about him appeared cool. It's just that he seemed as though he was having a bit of difficulty breathing. Still, I have seen him in a worse state than that before.
Minutes later, grandpa became more and more lifeless. If he could recite "Laailahaillallah" minutes ago, now, only his eyes were moving.
Grandpa died at 3:05pm. I was there with a few others in his room. We watched him die and at that point in time, I have begun to miss him already.
The burial took place the following day. Murni and Hasan, who have just left for Perth on Friday night, made it home that Monday morning. And I was so glad they did.
-------------------------------------------What I Learnt--------------------------------------
I never knew that the death of someone close to my heart could take away so much of my energy. I went to work the following day (after the day he was buried) and felt as though I was behaving like a zombie as I walked around school, not being able to produce emotions. I couldn’t get angry, I couldn’t be happy, I couldn’t even produce a smile. It was as though the feelings that I had deep in my heart had all hardened and all that I had become on that day was a robot with my grandfather on my mind.
I also felt weak and tired, perhaps from all the crying I had done in the few days. So in class, I wasn't able to project my voice like how I always could. So I told my students about my grandpa’s death and informed them about how I was feeling on that day. I told them not to make me angry in any way as I felt so fragile and as though I could brittle way too easily. I never knew that sadness had taken away so much of my energy :(
As I made my way to school earlier on in the day, I came across some old men on the road. Those old men were carrying what seemed to be their grandchildren’s schoolbags as they walk their grandchildren to school. Seeing those grandfathers around reminded me very much of my own grandfather and back in those days when he’d pick me up from school and buy me nice stickers, stamps and bookmarks from shops we had passed by. Recalling those moments had hurt me a little. And without realising, tears welled up my eyes as I walked past those children and their grandfathers. Certainly, I didn't know that seeing other people with their grandfathers on that day could hurt me ‘that’ much.
In school, I did some marking of my students work. As I was marking pages of piles of Activity books in school, I came across a short story about a grandfather and a grandson. The short story wasn't something new to me as I have read the passage to the class a week ago before the children were made to do the work. Still, reading the text hurt me very much and I remember many times during the marking had I have tears welling up my eyes. But I managed to keep those tears from falling, so it was good. At least I didn’t embarrass myself there and then. But what I learnt from this experience was that I became very sensitive over things that have got to do with the recently departed loved one, which, unexpectedly include stories that I have read that didn't have any impact on me previously.
Grandpa's death took place exactly a week after Murni's wedding. And I know I have a thousand and one reasons to thank God for it. At least grandpa could attend Murni's wedding and didn't pass away then. I mean, imagine what it would be if grandpa had passed away on Murni's wedding day...I can't imagine.
In life, I've always prayed that grandpa would live long enough to see me getting married. And I didn't know that God had given me so much more than what I have prayed for. I only knew about it when I saw grandpa at Murni's wedding - grandpa was alive but not kicking, very different from the day he attended mine. He seemed to have enjoyed himself so much then. But really, I didn't know that God had given me so much, in fact, a lot more than what I have asked for.
*Post was written on Saturday, July 12, 2008, and first published on Sept 04, 2008*
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Are New Year's resolutions necessary?
Twelve days into 2008 and I haven't made any New Year’s resolutions yet! It seems like I just can’t be stuffed to make one now. I don't know, maybe it is because I hardly hold myself to resolutions, so I am thinking why make any, right? But at times, I thought I really should have some or make at least one for the year because resolutions after all do help keep me focused.
Speaking of New Year’s resolutions however set me wondering about the real necessity of making/having one. For years I haven’t had any (New Year's resolutions) to keep up, but I ‘survived’ the times. So my question is, are New Year’s resolutions really necessary?
Like many other people in the world, I used to make New Year’s resolutions too. I made New Year’s resolutions primarily because it was the end of the year. Other than that, it just made sense to look forward to a brand new year with new goals to achieve. But for the most part though, I made resolutions because it was (and still is) just ‘the thing’ that people do at the time of the year.
But overtime, my resolutions became like an anthology too many! I kept making new resolutions at the start of each year but not only did I not hold myself to them, my New Year’s resolutions also appeared the same for me year after year. Worse, I never really look back on any one of them shortly after I declared them my official solutions for the next twelve months.
So I am now thinking I probably shouldn't make anymore New Year’s resolutions. And perhaps I should just wipe the practice out of my life. After all New Year's resolutions just don't seem 'that' necessary to me any longer.
But a fortnight ago I was only contemplating on having one. You know, like many other people in this globe, I just routinely pondered back to the past. And like every other time a brand New Year arrives, I would think about changes that I want to make to myself and then try to resolve to follow through on those changes.
So I was thinking if I were to have one this year (although I know it is a bit too late to be called New Year’s), it would have to be none other than about writing ‘better’ stuff on blog. I know blogs are just full of shit and nothing intellectual really. Still I'd like to think it’d be good for me to write something more credible than what I have written to this point.
But those are just thoughts. As I say, I can't be stuffed to make any (New Year's resolutions). And I think I can still survive without one, so why bother make any New Year's resolutions, right?
So now, back to the question: are New Year's resolutions really necessary? I still don't know actually. But I'd like to think it isn't truly. In my opinion, it is good to have them but it isn't bad not having any either. Then again 'New Year' and 'resolutions' seem somewhat coexistent. They are separable in many ways but it seems like only in the calendar of my mind they are not.
Speaking of New Year’s resolutions however set me wondering about the real necessity of making/having one. For years I haven’t had any (New Year's resolutions) to keep up, but I ‘survived’ the times. So my question is, are New Year’s resolutions really necessary?
Like many other people in the world, I used to make New Year’s resolutions too. I made New Year’s resolutions primarily because it was the end of the year. Other than that, it just made sense to look forward to a brand new year with new goals to achieve. But for the most part though, I made resolutions because it was (and still is) just ‘the thing’ that people do at the time of the year.
But overtime, my resolutions became like an anthology too many! I kept making new resolutions at the start of each year but not only did I not hold myself to them, my New Year’s resolutions also appeared the same for me year after year. Worse, I never really look back on any one of them shortly after I declared them my official solutions for the next twelve months.
So I am now thinking I probably shouldn't make anymore New Year’s resolutions. And perhaps I should just wipe the practice out of my life. After all New Year's resolutions just don't seem 'that' necessary to me any longer.
But a fortnight ago I was only contemplating on having one. You know, like many other people in this globe, I just routinely pondered back to the past. And like every other time a brand New Year arrives, I would think about changes that I want to make to myself and then try to resolve to follow through on those changes.
So I was thinking if I were to have one this year (although I know it is a bit too late to be called New Year’s), it would have to be none other than about writing ‘better’ stuff on blog. I know blogs are just full of shit and nothing intellectual really. Still I'd like to think it’d be good for me to write something more credible than what I have written to this point.
But those are just thoughts. As I say, I can't be stuffed to make any (New Year's resolutions). And I think I can still survive without one, so why bother make any New Year's resolutions, right?
So now, back to the question: are New Year's resolutions really necessary? I still don't know actually. But I'd like to think it isn't truly. In my opinion, it is good to have them but it isn't bad not having any either. Then again 'New Year' and 'resolutions' seem somewhat coexistent. They are separable in many ways but it seems like only in the calendar of my mind they are not.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
My Left and Right Brain.
The other day I tried a left and right brain quiz on Facebook. I just wanted to see which side of my brain dominates my thinking. Plus, I was kind of triggered to do the test after seeing Najjib’s brain test result on my Facebook home page. So I thought it was time I recognize mine.
With pure open mind and curiosity, I did the test. Very shortly after that though, I was shown the test result, which told me that I was a right-brained person. Below are some right brain qualities I include in the post to share with you, just in case you might want to know. The following right brain qualities are copied off a page in the Herald Sun:
RIGHT BRAIN FUNCTIONS
With pure open mind and curiosity, I did the test. Very shortly after that though, I was shown the test result, which told me that I was a right-brained person. Below are some right brain qualities I include in the post to share with you, just in case you might want to know. The following right brain qualities are copied off a page in the Herald Sun:
RIGHT BRAIN FUNCTIONS
- uses feeling
- "big picture" oriented
- imagination rules
- symbols and images
- present and future
- philosophy & religion
- can "get it" (i.e. meaning)
- believes
- appreciates
- spatial perception
- knows object function
- fantasy based
- presents possibilities
- impetuous
- risk taking
So I was a right brained according to the test. But the odd thing is, there was only a question from the quiz I had to answer. So my brain test result was practically determined from just answering one question. But what was more odd was that the question required me to determine the direction of a continuously turning image, which I thought was rather arguable, as there was not one main direction the image was turning - it depends on who sees what really, and as for my case, it could be seen in either direction (“clockwise” or “anti-clockwise”) since I could see it spinning in any direction I want to.
But I knew there was no right or wrong to this test. Still I had to choose an answer in order to get to the next page, whatever the page is. So to choose the answer, I thought I should just go for what I first saw when the test commenced. And you know, honestly, choosing the answer was more of a test of the brain than anything else in that test actually. But I decided to go with “clockwise”. And that was when I was told that I was right-brained.
Personally being right brained or left brained doesn’t really matter to me. As I have said earlier, I did the test with an open mind because I was just curious. But given the way I was tested, I thought something seemed amiss and that I couldn't possibly rely on such test for a reliable result.
Also, the other odd thing was that following the result, I was linked to some famous right brainers like Shakespeare and someone else I don't remember who it was. But I thought it was a bit of a mismatch there because those famous people share little common ground with me. Also, I was told that right brainers like me make a very creative individual. But recognizing my own characteristics, I thought the qualities of a right brainer didn't seem to match that of my personalities so much. So I decided to sit for another brain test. But this time, through a website I found on Google.
After answering 20 questions on a new website, I was told that I was left brained. I thought it wasn't very surprising to know that I became a left brain after sitting a different brain test. But this time round, the qualities seemed to suit me more. Even Kenji thought the qualities of a left brainer match about 80% of my personalities more than the right brain qualities do.
So now, just what brain am I really, I wonder. Left dominated or right? What if I was middle brain? Or whole brain? What's with the left right brain test really, anyway? And is the theory real or just a myth? All these are questions I've got in my whole brain right now.
Right Brain v Left Brain, Herald Sun, http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,22556281-661,00.html
Friday, August 31, 2007
Odd Questions, Grating Comments
Ramadhan is in a fortnight's. This means that Eid is coming real soon too. While Ramadhan in Singapore is without a doubt motivating, Eid in the country is on the whole enjoyable. And I am quite excited for it all. Though I may be excited for Ramadhan and Eid, I guess I am a little hesitant about looking forward to, especially with enthusiasm for Eid. I mean, let's just get to the point here: the presence of annoying relatives during Eid can sometimes make the entire celebration a bit shitty. For those who do not know it yet, I have a big family and therefore plenty of relatives. Unfortunately, most of my relatives are annoying blabbermouths. Though I must admit that it can get a bit funny how they chat about me and to me sometimes, but in times like the Eid celebration, their blabber-ing mouths can go to the extent of petering-out my capacity to tolerating them and hence accepting things as no longer amusing or whatnot. This year, perhaps just like any other years in the past, I can expect similar annoyance coming from these relatives. Well, it is not like I am hoping for the worst, please do not get me wrong. It is just that when certain things have happened and seemed to happen repeatedly, I guess it is not wrong any more for me to say that some things can be anticipated by now. Here, I am referring "things" to some so-called conversations I have always had with my relatives. The 'conversations' to me aren't proper conversations. They are more of odd questions and grating comments that somehow never fail to bring about negative feelings in me. Well, you might want to read the following 11 dialogues for better idea about what I have been saying here, but do bear in mind for some of them do sound rather repetitive (and can get quite vulgar, too, for that matter).
The following dialogues are part of the 'conversations' my relatives had with me in the recent years. Read on...
1. Situation: at someone’s home during an Eid celebration. Meet many relatives and soon one relative, called relative A, comes over to me and breaks the ice:
Relative A: so what are you doing now?
Me: nothing much.
Relative A: where are you working?
Me: I'm not working.
Relative A: you're not working??
Me: no, I’m a housewife.
Relative A: ohh…
Relative A walks away.
2. Relative B: (checks out my flat abdomen and asks) so any good news?
Me: no.
3. Relative C: so when are you having babies?
Me: later, why?
Relative C: Why later?! You must have them soon!
Me: ??
Relative C: I really want to see your kids.
Me: how come?
Relative C: I really want to see what they look like because it's half Japanese and half malay.
Me: ohh
(In my mind I was wondering if I really should have babies just to satisfy others’ curiosity of a Japanese-malay mix. Well, annoyed as I could be, but if relative C were to speak to me in a nice way, I probably wouldn‘t mind it at all. Otherwise, I would probably quietly say, "go fuck a Japanese to see it for yourself")
4. Relative D: so (you‘re) not working?
Me: no.
Relative D: so what do you do at home?
Me: nothing much.
Relative D: (looks very stressed out, then makes quite a big fuss about me staying home, supposedly idling)
...what‘s with relative D? Isn’t my staying home a matter that should only concern me and Kenji? Besides, if there were some others who really should be involved in this, they should be my parents and parents-in-law, no? I’m married anyway, and I’m not depending on a single cent of my parents' money, not since the day I got married. So why worry? *Well, if you're wondering what's going on here, I was only replying to relative D in my heart and mind because relative D is old (actually, so are the other relatives in this post) and that I am bounded by some Malay rules that disallow younger people to rebut or reply in 'such manner' to older people* Anyways, I continued thinking...that I am not relative D's child and besides, I give my parents some money. So I don't understand why relative D has to react that way. I was also thinking that I have been giving my parents the same exact amount every month and have been pretty consistent with it. So I did wonder if relative D’s children could do the same in future when they are married. But of course, I couldn't possibly say all these for I will be labelled as 'rude'.
5. Relative E: oh, you’re still not expecting? (looking a bit horrified)
Me: no
Relative E: my son who got married after you, and is the same age as you, already has a baby. I’m already a grandfather. (relative E smiles proudly)
6. Last year…
Relative F: so how are you? have you got a job yet?
Me: no (actually I didn‘t even try looking for one - but I don‘t usually say this part unless of course someone asks. But people here don‘t usually ask me that bit, so I never did say it. The funny thing is, people here never asked me further about why I wasn’t working/working yet but they do go around making assumptions of me and my not working-ness and then spread around their assumptions like it was a fact).
Relative F: my son is already working. He is now working in a bank.
Me: (did I ask?) how are you and how's your job?
7. Relative G: it’s been a year since you’re married.
Me: oh, yeah.
Relative G: so, how come no news of babies yet?
Me: erm, not thinking of having one yet, why?
Relative G: I really yearn to carry your baby.
Me: well, everyone wants to “carry my baby”. But I don’t want to, so what can you do?
8. Relative H: so what does your house look like? Anything Japanese?
Me: no (so what if it was/wasn’t Japanese anyway?)
Relative H walks away...
9. In 2002, I just came back from Tassie,
Relative J: oh, you look so skinny! Didn’t you eat whilst you were away?? Or have you just been feeding on Maggi noodles the whole time??
Relative J then laughed out really loudly.
I didn‘t answer relative J because relative J's questions were not about finding out why I may have lost some weight, that is if I really did. Also, relative J's questions simply seemed un-answerable and besides, they seemed intended only for mocking at me. And so I never answered relative J. But for the record, I did not eat a single bit of Maggi noodle or stored any Maggi noodle at all in my home any time throughout my stay in Tassie that year.
10. Relative K: What! You’re a housewife?? (Relative K gave me the look of, "What’s the point of you graduating university then?")
Me: (wondering why relative K is so mad at me)
Relative K: If it was me, I wouldn’t allow my daughter to be a housewife!! If she wants to be a housewife she can quit school right now and go get married.
Me: (whatever, relative K. But I really wonder if your daughter can get married anytime now if she was to quit school NOW. I mean, firstly, who wants to marry your daughter apart from her boyfriend. And secondly, even if he wants to marry her RIGHT NOW, he couldn't because he is jobless. So keep the worry till later, relative K. We'll just wait and see…)
11. This one has got something to do with my sister, Murni, who has plans to get hitched sometime, perhaps, soon.
Relative L: so, when Murni gets married and her husband and in-laws to-be come over to Singapore, you and Kenji will have to move to your parents’ flat for a while to let them stay over at your place.
Me: (wow! I really didn‘t know that relative L has plenty of free time to think for us. Anyway, I ignored relative L's 'suggestion' for I think it is our place that relative L is talking about. Besides, who is relative L to make such decision on behalf of us, for us.)
So, you see, the above dialogues are the things that have made me say the thing I said above, and that is, "I am a little hesitant about looking forward to, especially with enthusiasm for Eid". Although I may have had coincidentally portrayed a negative image on my relatives, by writing down the above dialogues, I guess I have more or less shared some real sides of my Eid celebration with my readers (am I the only one in this world so unlucky to have such relatives around?). Unfortunately it has always been that way since I was young and sadly such 'conversations' take place almost all the time on festive seasons. It is a sad phenomenon, I really think, because I grow up understanding festive seasons as times when relatives come together to catch-the-fuck-up on each other. Then again, without these relatives, I probably wouldn't be who I am now, stupid that is, and without Eid celebrations, there'd be no fun. Also, my life would possibly be a bit too peaceful and perhaps even more boring to the extent that I get no motivation to getaway from all these. Yet sometimes, too, I do wish my relatives can be a bit more cultured so that the relative-ties stay bonded and the younger generation can have good times together.
The following dialogues are part of the 'conversations' my relatives had with me in the recent years. Read on...
1. Situation: at someone’s home during an Eid celebration. Meet many relatives and soon one relative, called relative A, comes over to me and breaks the ice:
Relative A: so what are you doing now?
Me: nothing much.
Relative A: where are you working?
Me: I'm not working.
Relative A: you're not working??
Me: no, I’m a housewife.
Relative A: ohh…
Relative A walks away.
2. Relative B: (checks out my flat abdomen and asks) so any good news?
Me: no.
3. Relative C: so when are you having babies?
Me: later, why?
Relative C: Why later?! You must have them soon!
Me: ??
Relative C: I really want to see your kids.
Me: how come?
Relative C: I really want to see what they look like because it's half Japanese and half malay.
Me: ohh
(In my mind I was wondering if I really should have babies just to satisfy others’ curiosity of a Japanese-malay mix. Well, annoyed as I could be, but if relative C were to speak to me in a nice way, I probably wouldn‘t mind it at all. Otherwise, I would probably quietly say, "go fuck a Japanese to see it for yourself")
4. Relative D: so (you‘re) not working?
Me: no.
Relative D: so what do you do at home?
Me: nothing much.
Relative D: (looks very stressed out, then makes quite a big fuss about me staying home, supposedly idling)
...what‘s with relative D? Isn’t my staying home a matter that should only concern me and Kenji? Besides, if there were some others who really should be involved in this, they should be my parents and parents-in-law, no? I’m married anyway, and I’m not depending on a single cent of my parents' money, not since the day I got married. So why worry? *Well, if you're wondering what's going on here, I was only replying to relative D in my heart and mind because relative D is old (actually, so are the other relatives in this post) and that I am bounded by some Malay rules that disallow younger people to rebut or reply in 'such manner' to older people* Anyways, I continued thinking...that I am not relative D's child and besides, I give my parents some money. So I don't understand why relative D has to react that way. I was also thinking that I have been giving my parents the same exact amount every month and have been pretty consistent with it. So I did wonder if relative D’s children could do the same in future when they are married. But of course, I couldn't possibly say all these for I will be labelled as 'rude'.
5. Relative E: oh, you’re still not expecting? (looking a bit horrified)
Me: no
Relative E: my son who got married after you, and is the same age as you, already has a baby. I’m already a grandfather. (relative E smiles proudly)
6. Last year…
Relative F: so how are you? have you got a job yet?
Me: no (actually I didn‘t even try looking for one - but I don‘t usually say this part unless of course someone asks. But people here don‘t usually ask me that bit, so I never did say it. The funny thing is, people here never asked me further about why I wasn’t working/working yet but they do go around making assumptions of me and my not working-ness and then spread around their assumptions like it was a fact).
Relative F: my son is already working. He is now working in a bank.
Me: (did I ask?) how are you and how's your job?
7. Relative G: it’s been a year since you’re married.
Me: oh, yeah.
Relative G: so, how come no news of babies yet?
Me: erm, not thinking of having one yet, why?
Relative G: I really yearn to carry your baby.
Me: well, everyone wants to “carry my baby”. But I don’t want to, so what can you do?
8. Relative H: so what does your house look like? Anything Japanese?
Me: no (so what if it was/wasn’t Japanese anyway?)
Relative H walks away...
9. In 2002, I just came back from Tassie,
Relative J: oh, you look so skinny! Didn’t you eat whilst you were away?? Or have you just been feeding on Maggi noodles the whole time??
Relative J then laughed out really loudly.
I didn‘t answer relative J because relative J's questions were not about finding out why I may have lost some weight, that is if I really did. Also, relative J's questions simply seemed un-answerable and besides, they seemed intended only for mocking at me. And so I never answered relative J. But for the record, I did not eat a single bit of Maggi noodle or stored any Maggi noodle at all in my home any time throughout my stay in Tassie that year.
10. Relative K: What! You’re a housewife?? (Relative K gave me the look of, "What’s the point of you graduating university then?")
Me: (wondering why relative K is so mad at me)
Relative K: If it was me, I wouldn’t allow my daughter to be a housewife!! If she wants to be a housewife she can quit school right now and go get married.
Me: (whatever, relative K. But I really wonder if your daughter can get married anytime now if she was to quit school NOW. I mean, firstly, who wants to marry your daughter apart from her boyfriend. And secondly, even if he wants to marry her RIGHT NOW, he couldn't because he is jobless. So keep the worry till later, relative K. We'll just wait and see…)
11. This one has got something to do with my sister, Murni, who has plans to get hitched sometime, perhaps, soon.
Relative L: so, when Murni gets married and her husband and in-laws to-be come over to Singapore, you and Kenji will have to move to your parents’ flat for a while to let them stay over at your place.
Me: (wow! I really didn‘t know that relative L has plenty of free time to think for us. Anyway, I ignored relative L's 'suggestion' for I think it is our place that relative L is talking about. Besides, who is relative L to make such decision on behalf of us, for us.)
So, you see, the above dialogues are the things that have made me say the thing I said above, and that is, "I am a little hesitant about looking forward to, especially with enthusiasm for Eid". Although I may have had coincidentally portrayed a negative image on my relatives, by writing down the above dialogues, I guess I have more or less shared some real sides of my Eid celebration with my readers (am I the only one in this world so unlucky to have such relatives around?). Unfortunately it has always been that way since I was young and sadly such 'conversations' take place almost all the time on festive seasons. It is a sad phenomenon, I really think, because I grow up understanding festive seasons as times when relatives come together to catch-the-fuck-up on each other. Then again, without these relatives, I probably wouldn't be who I am now, stupid that is, and without Eid celebrations, there'd be no fun. Also, my life would possibly be a bit too peaceful and perhaps even more boring to the extent that I get no motivation to getaway from all these. Yet sometimes, too, I do wish my relatives can be a bit more cultured so that the relative-ties stay bonded and the younger generation can have good times together.
Monday, June 11, 2007
Global Warming Controversies
Sleepy now. Still, I would like to blog a post. Will try anyways, so anyhow...this post, written mainly to exercise my brains, is in relation to a forum laid out by Detik, a Malay TV program here in Singapore's Suria channel. Its latest discussion topic however can be found below though in a self-translated English version, mainly for the benefit of the blog's non-Malay readers (and the inability of the writer, that is me, to write in Malay). So, apologies in advanced to all if topic statements are inaccurately translated. (Yawn!)
Topic: Global warming is said to be caused by humans. Do you agree? And, what is the role of an individual in conserving the environment?
Though I will not exactly answer these questions for I am not an expert in the controversies of global warming, I will nevertheless share some info I have while reading on global warming issues. So below is a bit about global warming. And I must admit that having had a couple of global warming articles read, I personally find global warming a difficult subject to talk about.
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Below is a part of IPCC's dialogue with John Christy on global warming. IPCC is the abbreviation for Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change and John Christy is a professor of atmospheric science and director of the Earth System Science Center at the University of Alabama in Huntsville and a contributor to several IPCC.
In the dialogue (below), IPCC questions John Christy on the difference in the amount of greenhouse gas increase caused by human activities and that of natural sources. John Christy replies to IPCC saying that the difference caused by both human activities and natural sources is yet unknown, indirectly telling them that the causes of global warming is therefore unidentified. Read on for dialogue...
IPCC: If global temperatures are increasing, to what extent is the increase attributable to greenhouse gas emissions from human activity as opposed to natural variability or other causes?
John Christy: No one knows. Estimates today are given by climate model simulations made against a backdrop of uncertain natural variability, assumptions about how greenhouse gases affect the climate, and model shortcomings in general. The evidence from our work (and others) is that the way the observed temperatures are changing in many important aspects is not consistent with model simulations.
- Global Warming Controversy
Like Christy, there are other scientists, too, who believe the cause of global warming is unknown. Some other scientists though choose to think that the idea of humans as primary cause to global warming has yet to be ascertained. In Roberts & Street-Perrott (1994) it is stated that a few scientists doubt as to whether global warm phase truly occurred at all, thinking even if it did, its magnitude was very much less than that projected for future greenhouse-gas induced warming.
For more information on scientists opposing the mainstream scientific assessment of global warming, click here.
So given some doubts and opposition to the causes of global warming from scientists themselves, what actually really creates global warming, I truly wonder.
- What Is Global Warming?
It is said that global warming (as according to mainstream scientific assessment) is defined as the increase in the average temperatures of the Earth's near-surface air and oceans in recent decades. It has been studied that during the past century, global average air temperature near the Earth's surface rose about 0.74 ± 0.18 °C (1.3 ± 0.32 °F).
The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) has even concluded that most increase in globally averaged temperatures since the mid-20th century is very likely the cause of the increase in anthropogenic greenhouse gas concentrations.
And rapid increase in global temperature can cause other changes, which includes the rise in sea level, changes in the amount and pattern of precipitation resulting in floods and drought, as well as in the frequency and intensity of extreme weather events, to occur.
Other effects however may include changes in agricultural yields, glacier retreat, reduced summer streamflows, species extinctions and increases in the ranges of disease vectors.
Having said all these however, global warming, according to some scientists, is only a theory. Despite being just a prediction, it is also believed that global warming will keep on going in the years to come.
- Causes of Global Warming
Global warming is predicted to occur because of the rise in average air temperature near the Earth's surface during the past century. The increased emission of the so-called "greenhouse gases" or otherwise known as the anthropogenic greenhouse gas concentrations is expected to warm the surface and lower atmosphere by increasing the greenhouse effect.
Increased greenhouse gases and the greenhouse effect is feared to contribute to an overall warming of the Earth's climate, leading to a global warming (even though some regions may experience cooling, wetter weather, while the temperature of the planet on average would rise). The most important of the greenhouse gases is water vapour, carbon dioxide and methane. These gases are thought to lead to some negative impacts to human and the environment.
Methane, increasing in the atmosphere more rapidly than carbon dioxide, is said to derive from sources such as rice paddies, bovine flatulence, bacteria in bogs and fossil fuel production. Most of the world’s rice, and all of the rice in the United States, is grown on flooded fields. When fields are flooded, anaerobic conditions develop and the organic matter in the soil decomposes, releasing methane to the atmosphere, primarily through the rice plants.
Carbon dioxide, on the other hand, have risen principally because of fossil-fuel burning since the nineteenth century, with reduced photosynthesis due to deforestation as an important secondary cause.
While methane and carbon dioxide are said to be products of the human activities (and therefore direct causes to global warming), water vapour, however, is not. Water vapour is a naturally occurring greenhouse gas and accounts for the largest percentage of the greenhouse effect, between 36% and 90%.
Water vapor content of the troposphere, however, is easily increased when the atmospheric temperature is increased by greenhouse effect. Simultaneously, greenhouse effect is caused by anthropogenic gases.
- So, is global warming caused by humans?
I still don't know actually. And what makes it even confusing is this: Houghton et al,. (1990) once stated that the most important greenhouse gases, that is methane, carbon dioxide and water vapour, are after all naturally present in the atmosphere and without them the global mean temperature would be lower by around 33 degrees Celsius!
- So?
Having said all of the above, I really wonder what if humans are the real cause to global warming and global warming really does occur? Do we get anything out of blaming human activities for causing such phenomenon??
- Individual's role to conserving the environment
As for individual's role to conserving the environment, well, I think it is perhaps best to keep oneself informed on the what not’s to global warming, such as what not to do...(I got really lazy and sleepy here), and/or understand why the earth surface keeps warming and how to slow it down...Or perhaps becoming an active member in the many environmental organizations available worldwide can possibly help conserve the environment. I think. I am in some environmental organizations though not an active member at all (because I'm here in capitalist Singapore. Shit.). So what do you think?
Doze off...
References (incomplete):
Global Warming: The Causes, Available [Online]: http://www.ecobridge.org/content/g_cse.htm
Annual Greenhouse Gas Emissions By Sector, Global Warming Awareness, Available [Online]: http://www.globalwarming.org.in/
Roberts N. & Street-Perrott F. A.,1994 in The Changing Global Environment by Roberts, N.,
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Living In An Overcrowded City.
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Above: A fully packed, air-conditioned, articulated "bendy" public bus night scene. Viewed from the back of the bus where I was seated, purely by luck. All seats were taken up then and the people who were standing were those who came in much later. The bus was making its way from the city centre to a residential estate on a Friday night at about 10:39 in the p.m. The bus was packed with mainly workers. Frequency for this bus on weekdays would be about 5-8 mins after 7:00p.m. I boarded the bus while it was only 1/8 of its way to the residential estate. So that perhaps explains how I got the back seat. But even then, getting a seat around that time is, like I said, purely by luck.It has been quite tough residing once again in overcrowded Singapore. I know it is a rather paradoxical statement I have delivered here because Singapore has been home to me for the first 22 years of my life before I finally left the mother country to do some studies abroad, and that, it has been a year since I returned. But the overcrowdedness has really gone beyond my tolerable limits now that I have lived in another part of the world where personal space is more of a lifestyle than the pursuit of one’s happiness, or something of that sort, you get me?
In an almost-no-natural-resources Singapore, population growth has long outstripped its available resources. So from a glance, overcrowdedness seems a definite source to the collapse of the Singapore nation given some truth in the Thomas Malthus’ theory. However taking into account its knowledge-based economy, the country would ruin, too, considering a low or an un-increasing population. Right now, Singapore houses about 4.5 million people and aims to have about 6 million in the coming 2040.
I remember the year I left Singapore for the first time, overcrowdedness in the country seemed nowhere ‘this’ stuffed and that was only about 5 years ago. Until today, I do not know for sure, if it has terribly increased or just a psychological impact on me for having only returned from a place almost underpopulated (or, could I have simply forgotten just how overcrowded Singapore has always been, I am not too sure), but I do know that whatever feeling I may have over this overcrowdedness, is one that is backed by the Singapore population demographics such as the one below.
Above: Demographics of Singapore, Data of FAO, year 2005 ; Number of inhabitants in thousands.
Statistics have it that in the last 5 years the number of inhabitants in Singapore have increased by 0.28 million (0.28 million is purely my own estimation actually). Never mind the increase, but 0.28 million does not tell me how 'bad' the crowd has grown. Nevertheless by taking Singapore's land area into consideration, such feelings of overcrowdedness seems more than merely feelings. It is in fact a reality.
With a land area of about 704 k.m.2, Singapore is currently home to some 4.5 million people and holding a density of about 6400 persons per k.m.2 (as compared to that of 5882 persons per k.m.2 in the year 2000). A country like Australia, on the other hand, only measures up to about 2.6 persons in 1 k.m.2! So can you roughly gauge how badly overcrowded Singapore has been overtime and understand why "the overcrowdedness has really gone beyond my tolerable limits now"?
With Singapore being one of the most economically successful countries in the world, typical features of an overpopulated country may be absent nevertheless. So ‘big’ issues like the adequacy of food and water supply all seemed to be in good control. In fact, Singapore’s economic growth is so enormous that it vastly exceeded the increase in its population. However, insignificant features of its overcrowdedness such as the comfort of life that residents like me would probably be asking for in almost every other day of our lives, seemed overlooked.
Discomfort in the slightly more insignificant features of overcrowdedness in Singapore can be seen in the long queues at supermarkets, huge crowds at bus stands and forever taken cabs on the roads; the long, long journey to work, the packed buses and trains (not only during peak hours but also before and after peak hours), and the rising living costs; the homes that just keep getting smaller, the compacted blocks of flats built everywhere (see picture) and the food that are mostly genetically modified are just some of the more insignificant features of overcrowdedness that seemed to have been overlooked and that, to an extent, can sometimes be quite intolerable to the people residing in the country!
So this thus makes me wonder if I will be able to survive the country's increasing population in the coming years, which I really don't know. Already I am feeling pretty stuffed now. But since overcrowdedness is merely a “subjective evaluation”, there will never be, I guess, an optimal population level for Singapore, ever. Perhaps it is time to pack up and leave, for a place full of space, REAL food, fresh air and most importantly, less crowd!
References:
Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, Demographics of Singapore, Available [Online]:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_Singapore#Population
Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, List of countries by population density, Available [Online]:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_population_density
Monday, May 14, 2007
Kenji's Housewife's 13 Ways To Broader Mind
In relation to a previous post about studying abroad (now saved as draft), below are some crappy tips from Kenji’s housewife to overseas students who wish to earn ways to a global mind. Cheers!
- attend a university that has as few minorities as possible, so that it makes you 'special' (instead of "that another foreign pest") and that it also gives you a sense of urgency to fit in to the mainstream community really quickly
- take up courses that are popular with the local students and least popular amongst fellow overseas students. You will definitely get ‘global’ opinions during class discussions
- if you somehow could, major in (1) Political Science (2) Geography & Environmental Studies, and then along the way do as vast a variety of types of units as possible in order to not only help fulfill your course requirements but also acquire very wide knowledge of all worldly matters
- be as friendly as possible to just about anyone but have as few friends to walk around with at the same time as it helps you get ‘global friends'. ‘Global friends’ won’t approach you if you are always within a group
- do at least one overseas Summer course where you will have to survive with some of the local uni students who are all now in a foreign land. But be sure to be the only foreigner out of the rest of the people in the group doing the course. You are sure to learn so much not only about the new foreign land, but also about the people you will have to survive with.
- join the university’s sports clubs. Best is, if you are the only foreigner in your team. There you will learn the politics in sports and enjoy the additional events that come with it. You will also learn how training is carried out, understand what the priority of the team is and see how a coach manages his team!
- grab one non-heterosexual (if you are heterosexual) person and make him/her your best friend. Overtime, you will have lots of non-heterosexual ideas (thru conversations with that new best friend) and acquire better knowledge/understanding of the people contrary to your nature
- listen to the local radio station every day and at all times. By doing so, you get some ideas as to the type of music the locals listen to and perhaps also, eventually understand their jokes (and get their lingo)!
- read the local newspapers and magazines and watch the local current affairs programs. They may usually be politically one-sided but heck cares! you get to hear their political viewpoint.
- go on a relationship with someone who comes from a place/country you are not familiar with! Foreign partners really help transform one into thinking out of his/her 'usual' box!
- choose to live with a fellow uni student who comes from some other part of the world different to yours. You will definitely learn how living, lifestyle and 'home-y' things like cooking, division of chores and settling of bills are done by different individuals coming from different backgrounds.
- take up a role in the executive committee of a university cultural club and help organize events with the cooperation of the rest of the committee and its members. Here you will learn not only the job culture of the club, most of which happens to be the politics of the certain community the majority is coming from but also what becomes their main concern and how they handle problems.
- have breakfast, lunch, tea, or dinner or simply coffee with fellow locals and their family members either at their home, your home or anywhere outside! In doing so, you will learn lots of stuff, including the local’s table manners, the local ways to having good conversation, their manners of speech, their preferred topics of conversation, the course of meals they have, etc.
What else is there, let me see...
Perhaps these are all I have for now. Extras will be added later.
Monday, April 9, 2007
Not working.
I find it interesting how like-minded the people in Singapore can be. Below is an account of reactions of the people I met here towards my "STILL doing nothing"-ness in the country. Read on...
I was at Orchard's Post Office one day, paying my bills, when I was asked a couple of questions with regards to work by the woman serving me. Firstly she thought I was working somewhere nearby and was on a coffee break that I decided to drop by the post office to settle my bills. When I told her I wasn't working, she asked if I was having an off day. Before I could answer her, she started asking me why I was paying the bills of Mr. Kenji. To her, the name could hardly represent me for I am a Malay and that the name did not sound anywhere Malay-ish.
So when I replied to her first question telling her that I was not working at all and to her second (question), telling her that Mr. Kenji is my husband, she asked if children became my reason for not working. Her questions did not stop there, it went on and on as she happily helped process my bill payment. Affected, I decided to tell her a bit about myself. But after a brief self-introduction, she continued on with one more question (luckily it was her last, so it wasn't 'that' bad after all). And so she asked, "what did your mother say about you not working?"
Well, 'this' is 'the thing' with Singaporeans. Most Singaporeans (or Singaporean women rather) frowned at me for choosing not to work after obtaining a degree. They think I am being unjust to my parents for not paying my parents back all of the effort they have put in just to get me educated (actually I don't remember my parents telling me that they educate me so that I can have a job to pay them back. And I don't remember either understanding the idea that having a job = paying back).
Yet I understand people like the woman at the Post Office perfectly, but I have my own way. To me, most importantly, both my parents and parents-in-law are OK with the fact that married Marinah doesn't work. With that, it is perfectly fine with me that I hang around a bit.
Other than the above, there are other people who have reacted slightly differently to the fact that I am "not working YET". Last year, barely a month after returning home from Tassie, a male relative came up to me at a wedding and asked, "Have you got a job yet? My son is already working. He is now working in a bank."
Meanwhile a few others I met laughed at me for not having a job. They think I cannot get a job in Singapore because I graduated from an Australian university (practically, they are laughing at my dad, too, for he had stupidly invested in me for nothing). Others think it has, in one way or another, met their expectation that Australian uni graduates like me would come back home and not get a job afterwards because our certificates are not recognised. Most of these people too think that the standard of the Australian education system is lower than that of Singapore's (I don't know where they got it from) and that doing uni in Australia is a matter of second-best alternative to that of the local university, which, to me, is quite agreeable to an extent.
Then again, it is funny how I never got questioned from these people for opting not to work. It did come across me sometimes whether or not they really bother to understand the situation I am in. Well, it's not like I need them to, but I guess it is best to know 'things' first-hand than to believe in word of mouth or worse, to presume.
Yet as much as there are people like the above, there are also those who have been giving me support. My loving husband kept assuring me that I do not need to work, mum and dad have sincerely chosen not to interefere with decisions my husband and I make or will be making throughout our married life, and friends and relatives are happy to know that I am happy in which ever way I choose to live my life.
But a couple of days ago, I received a reply from an old secondary/high school/college friend, Hazman, to whom I wrote, "and for doing nothing too have made me 'the grief of' many adults!". His reply the next day was, "if you are still finding a job, drop me a mail by tonight. pasal (because) my library has a vacant ... tomorrow is the closing date ...". That sentence, I tell you, even if he did not mean it, didn't cease to amaze me! That night, I did not drop him a mail though because honestly, I am not really looking for a job. Nevertheless, I am thankful to Hazman for making a difference in my life. A big difference, indeed.
Hey, someone actually gave me a job instead of looking down on me for choosing to depend on my husband.
I was at Orchard's Post Office one day, paying my bills, when I was asked a couple of questions with regards to work by the woman serving me. Firstly she thought I was working somewhere nearby and was on a coffee break that I decided to drop by the post office to settle my bills. When I told her I wasn't working, she asked if I was having an off day. Before I could answer her, she started asking me why I was paying the bills of Mr. Kenji. To her, the name could hardly represent me for I am a Malay and that the name did not sound anywhere Malay-ish.
So when I replied to her first question telling her that I was not working at all and to her second (question), telling her that Mr. Kenji is my husband, she asked if children became my reason for not working. Her questions did not stop there, it went on and on as she happily helped process my bill payment. Affected, I decided to tell her a bit about myself. But after a brief self-introduction, she continued on with one more question (luckily it was her last, so it wasn't 'that' bad after all). And so she asked, "what did your mother say about you not working?"
Well, 'this' is 'the thing' with Singaporeans. Most Singaporeans (or Singaporean women rather) frowned at me for choosing not to work after obtaining a degree. They think I am being unjust to my parents for not paying my parents back all of the effort they have put in just to get me educated (actually I don't remember my parents telling me that they educate me so that I can have a job to pay them back. And I don't remember either understanding the idea that having a job = paying back).
Yet I understand people like the woman at the Post Office perfectly, but I have my own way. To me, most importantly, both my parents and parents-in-law are OK with the fact that married Marinah doesn't work. With that, it is perfectly fine with me that I hang around a bit.
Other than the above, there are other people who have reacted slightly differently to the fact that I am "not working YET". Last year, barely a month after returning home from Tassie, a male relative came up to me at a wedding and asked, "Have you got a job yet? My son is already working. He is now working in a bank."
Meanwhile a few others I met laughed at me for not having a job. They think I cannot get a job in Singapore because I graduated from an Australian university (practically, they are laughing at my dad, too, for he had stupidly invested in me for nothing). Others think it has, in one way or another, met their expectation that Australian uni graduates like me would come back home and not get a job afterwards because our certificates are not recognised. Most of these people too think that the standard of the Australian education system is lower than that of Singapore's (I don't know where they got it from) and that doing uni in Australia is a matter of second-best alternative to that of the local university, which, to me, is quite agreeable to an extent.
Then again, it is funny how I never got questioned from these people for opting not to work. It did come across me sometimes whether or not they really bother to understand the situation I am in. Well, it's not like I need them to, but I guess it is best to know 'things' first-hand than to believe in word of mouth or worse, to presume.
Yet as much as there are people like the above, there are also those who have been giving me support. My loving husband kept assuring me that I do not need to work, mum and dad have sincerely chosen not to interefere with decisions my husband and I make or will be making throughout our married life, and friends and relatives are happy to know that I am happy in which ever way I choose to live my life.
But a couple of days ago, I received a reply from an old secondary/high school/college friend, Hazman, to whom I wrote, "and for doing nothing too have made me 'the grief of' many adults!". His reply the next day was, "if you are still finding a job, drop me a mail by tonight. pasal (because) my library has a vacant ... tomorrow is the closing date ...". That sentence, I tell you, even if he did not mean it, didn't cease to amaze me! That night, I did not drop him a mail though because honestly, I am not really looking for a job. Nevertheless, I am thankful to Hazman for making a difference in my life. A big difference, indeed.
Hey, someone actually gave me a job instead of looking down on me for choosing to depend on my husband.
Saturday, February 3, 2007
What's NOT cool in Japan?
Due to the over admiration of the people around me on Japan and all things Japanese, here I decided to write the other side of it, fully based on my day-by-day observations while I was in the country. Not because I have anything against Japan and its counterparts or anything of that sort, I simply thought I should do others (especially those who might never stand a chance to be in Japan) a favour by telling them that Japan IS NOT ALL GREAT.
*I haven't completed this post yet. Hoping to add more to this list over time. Anyhow, check this post out often if you want to know what I think aren't cool in Japan.*
Things I think aren't cool in Japan.
#1 Homogeneity in Japan isn't cool at all. I get all sorts of people turning their heads to look at me be it on the train, outside of the train, on the streets, at a train station, in a convenient store, at a bus stop, by a truck driver, by a passenger on the bus, by some high school people, erm, everyone per se. And oh, even the whites and Brazilians were looking at me! It was crazy, and I felt really uncomfortable! I wondered what would happen if I'd walked around with my headscarf on. Would there be road accidents if I was walking on the road in my headscarf? Would the train have collided if I was the first person the train captain saw in a headscarf? Would all the passengers in a cabin I would be in be staring at me with their mouth open wide because I was in a headscarf?? I haven't tried walking around in my headscarf yet, but I will definitely try it very soon. Geez, you know, it was simply crazy to think I was in a developed, modern Japan when its people aren't used to foreigners. Perhaps modernity has got nothing to do with familiarity to a human alien after all. Oh well, Japanese, get a passport and get out of your small world!!
#2 The elderly Japanese women behave in a kiasu-like manner. They push in a crowd and try to be the first to get their way to something or somewhere. This just reminded me of the typical old Chinese women in Singapore. What's contradicting about it is that most Japanese women try to, portray or are even universally known to have images of femininity and grace with them. So the behaviour of the older women form question marks on my mind.
#3 Japan is expensive. OK this is nothing new. But I suppose not many of you know that the thing that ripped my money off me was not the food, accommodation or plane ticket, but the bus and train rides. They were freaking costly!! Now let me tell you this, if you are thinking of travelling in Japan, PLEASE think again. Save money like you have never saved before. Otherwise, don't go to Japan. Ha ha. It is not that bad actually. But train and bus fares are definitely one of the least cool things in Japan to me.
#4 Public toilets - there are still heaps of un-Western toilets scattered everywhere in Japan. Though public toilets can be quite clean, most female toilets still need its patrons to squat in order to do their thing!! Wow! This reminds me of Third world China!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So public toilets in Japan = un-cool
#5 I think Japan's residential areas are lacking in both planning and a sense of modernity. The residential I was at was a huge mess of I-don't-know-what. A mix of residential + bits of commercial things dispersed here and there + some bits of industrial areas coming-out-of-nowhere. It was entirely weird to me. Also the way some roads and lanes join each other and then divide into smaller avenues seem really unwise to me. And oh, not forgetting the heaps of cable wires running across the sky and the cement-colored buildings and homes. They just make Japan VERY unfashionable. So residential areas in Japan = un-cool
#6 Other than its people, what I thought was significant in terms of homogeneity of the society was fashion. Though Japan looks like THE place for a wacky hairdo and weird fashion, there is still a limit to it. There is still a 'what's right and what's not' in fashion in Japan. So because of the boundary, it makes everybody pretty similar after all. Defining the norm of the society, fashion in Japan thus makes the country more homogenous and smaller than ever.
#7 Cyprusblade pointed this one out to me actually. It is in the comment below which, to me, makes another significant point to add to this list. It is about the smoking policy in restaurant, cafes and namely almost all eating places in Japan (I'm pasting Cyprusblade's words here pretty much). During Cyprusblade's first trip to Japan, Cyprusblade said Cyprusblade made the mistake of walking into a very well-known fugu restaurant in Tokyo and asked for a non-smoking seat. The waitress stared at Cyprusblade for some time before calling her manager who explained in English saying that they do not have a non-smoking section. Anyway Cyprusblade thought that even if they did, the air quality was going to be the same as that of the smoking section since the non-smoking section was not enclosed. Yeah, I agree to Cyprusblade and added that the smoking sections of those food outlets that have such separation seemed more popular amongst patrons and so leaving the non-smoking section less crowded (which is probably the reason why some food outlets do not provide a division for smokers and non-smokers). So non-smokers like Cyprusblade and I will probably have a less comfortable time dining out in Japan if unlucky.
*I haven't completed this post yet. Hoping to add more to this list over time. Anyhow, check this post out often if you want to know what I think aren't cool in Japan.*
Things I think aren't cool in Japan.
#1 Homogeneity in Japan isn't cool at all. I get all sorts of people turning their heads to look at me be it on the train, outside of the train, on the streets, at a train station, in a convenient store, at a bus stop, by a truck driver, by a passenger on the bus, by some high school people, erm, everyone per se. And oh, even the whites and Brazilians were looking at me! It was crazy, and I felt really uncomfortable! I wondered what would happen if I'd walked around with my headscarf on. Would there be road accidents if I was walking on the road in my headscarf? Would the train have collided if I was the first person the train captain saw in a headscarf? Would all the passengers in a cabin I would be in be staring at me with their mouth open wide because I was in a headscarf?? I haven't tried walking around in my headscarf yet, but I will definitely try it very soon. Geez, you know, it was simply crazy to think I was in a developed, modern Japan when its people aren't used to foreigners. Perhaps modernity has got nothing to do with familiarity to a human alien after all. Oh well, Japanese, get a passport and get out of your small world!!
#2 The elderly Japanese women behave in a kiasu-like manner. They push in a crowd and try to be the first to get their way to something or somewhere. This just reminded me of the typical old Chinese women in Singapore. What's contradicting about it is that most Japanese women try to, portray or are even universally known to have images of femininity and grace with them. So the behaviour of the older women form question marks on my mind.
#3 Japan is expensive. OK this is nothing new. But I suppose not many of you know that the thing that ripped my money off me was not the food, accommodation or plane ticket, but the bus and train rides. They were freaking costly!! Now let me tell you this, if you are thinking of travelling in Japan, PLEASE think again. Save money like you have never saved before. Otherwise, don't go to Japan. Ha ha. It is not that bad actually. But train and bus fares are definitely one of the least cool things in Japan to me.
#4 Public toilets - there are still heaps of un-Western toilets scattered everywhere in Japan. Though public toilets can be quite clean, most female toilets still need its patrons to squat in order to do their thing!! Wow! This reminds me of Third world China!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So public toilets in Japan = un-cool
#5 I think Japan's residential areas are lacking in both planning and a sense of modernity. The residential I was at was a huge mess of I-don't-know-what. A mix of residential + bits of commercial things dispersed here and there + some bits of industrial areas coming-out-of-nowhere. It was entirely weird to me. Also the way some roads and lanes join each other and then divide into smaller avenues seem really unwise to me. And oh, not forgetting the heaps of cable wires running across the sky and the cement-colored buildings and homes. They just make Japan VERY unfashionable. So residential areas in Japan = un-cool
#6 Other than its people, what I thought was significant in terms of homogeneity of the society was fashion. Though Japan looks like THE place for a wacky hairdo and weird fashion, there is still a limit to it. There is still a 'what's right and what's not' in fashion in Japan. So because of the boundary, it makes everybody pretty similar after all. Defining the norm of the society, fashion in Japan thus makes the country more homogenous and smaller than ever.
#7 Cyprusblade pointed this one out to me actually. It is in the comment below which, to me, makes another significant point to add to this list. It is about the smoking policy in restaurant, cafes and namely almost all eating places in Japan (I'm pasting Cyprusblade's words here pretty much). During Cyprusblade's first trip to Japan, Cyprusblade said Cyprusblade made the mistake of walking into a very well-known fugu restaurant in Tokyo and asked for a non-smoking seat. The waitress stared at Cyprusblade for some time before calling her manager who explained in English saying that they do not have a non-smoking section. Anyway Cyprusblade thought that even if they did, the air quality was going to be the same as that of the smoking section since the non-smoking section was not enclosed. Yeah, I agree to Cyprusblade and added that the smoking sections of those food outlets that have such separation seemed more popular amongst patrons and so leaving the non-smoking section less crowded (which is probably the reason why some food outlets do not provide a division for smokers and non-smokers). So non-smokers like Cyprusblade and I will probably have a less comfortable time dining out in Japan if unlucky.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Interestingly Conservative In This Generation
Hi all. Below is an excerpt I copied off a site I found while reading on Magic Johnson, a former professional NBA basketball player, who is HIV positive since 1991. The excerpt is simply an opinion on sex and HIV, formed by the writer himself (not Magic Johnson though), and one whose thoughts I found measuring up to my own coincidentally. So I thought I should put this up on blog as a way of bookmark-ing the site and for my own future reading reference. You may of course read on if you like but I must tell you, the excerpt sounds a little bit too preachy for some especially if you are not quite on the acceding side. Then again do enjoy. It is, to me, an interestingly conservative yet logical conclusion I have ever heard/read/seen published in this generation, ever. Oh, and by the way, have you guys had your HIV test done yet??
Here goes the excerpt:
Pre-marital / extra-marital sexual encounter is the major cause of HIV transmission. It seems to me that the only logical / sensible solution to this threat is for us all to start practicing what God introduced in the first place when He introduced Adam to his lovely wife, Eve. Beware!
So,
Let us teach our children that premarital sex is not only a sin but a game of Russian Roulette as well (despite the picture advertisers and movies portray). It's a matter of life and death. Some sins we will have to pay for at judgement. But there are a few we will have to pay for in premature death. Even the use of safeguards isn't foolproof.
Interestingly conservative, yet it sounds right in every way though there may be an absence in statistics to really prove that "pre-marital/extra-marital sexual encounter is the major cause of HIV transmission". Nevertheless taking into consideration the world that I have been exposed to and the people whom I have met, this logically sounded excerpt will be one message I believe I will hold on to, not just because of the logic behind it but also because it reflects my thoughts from encounters in this life journey. Yet again, having to think of such message as "interestingly conservative" makes it all a very bad news for the world today, doesn't it?
Reference:
Goad, S.C., "MAGIC" JOHNSON and HIV, Available [Online]: http://www.theexaminer.org/volume7/number2/johnson.htm, 19/10/2006.
Here goes the excerpt:
Pre-marital / extra-marital sexual encounter is the major cause of HIV transmission. It seems to me that the only logical / sensible solution to this threat is for us all to start practicing what God introduced in the first place when He introduced Adam to his lovely wife, Eve. Beware!
So,
Let us teach our children that premarital sex is not only a sin but a game of Russian Roulette as well (despite the picture advertisers and movies portray). It's a matter of life and death. Some sins we will have to pay for at judgement. But there are a few we will have to pay for in premature death. Even the use of safeguards isn't foolproof.
Interestingly conservative, yet it sounds right in every way though there may be an absence in statistics to really prove that "pre-marital/extra-marital sexual encounter is the major cause of HIV transmission". Nevertheless taking into consideration the world that I have been exposed to and the people whom I have met, this logically sounded excerpt will be one message I believe I will hold on to, not just because of the logic behind it but also because it reflects my thoughts from encounters in this life journey. Yet again, having to think of such message as "interestingly conservative" makes it all a very bad news for the world today, doesn't it?
Reference:
Goad, S.C., "MAGIC" JOHNSON and HIV, Available [Online]: http://www.theexaminer.org/volume7/number2/johnson.htm, 19/10/2006.
Wednesday, September 6, 2006
Just working my brain - the IMF
Just working my brain instead of writing some crappy stuff in my blog like I always do, below is - however still pretty crappy - this thing about the upcoming IMF meeting in Singapore that I would just love to sink my thoughts in. So read on BUT only if you bother to :)
Checked out the IMF homepage yesterday and I found this: ‘2006 Annual Meetings: Singapore, September 19-20, 2006’ printed tiny on the ‘highlights’ section of the IMF external website. I have somehow forgotten, or more accurately, not even cared when exactly the dates the meeting will be conducted here. All I know is the IMF meeting in Singapore will be a string of days sometime in September as I recalled seeing some reminders about road closure on Robinson Rd one day when I went to pick Kenji up from work. So I checked out the IMF homepage just for self-assurance after all those IMF-related ads and reminders that keep appearing not only on streets but also on TV in between programs here in Singapore.
And I was quite surprised to learn that the meeting is only going to be a 2-day affair. Yet Singapore is playing host for about a week, with the entire road closure and all. As the days to the meeting draw closer and closer I realized too that Singapore is getting more and more direct with the inputs the country is putting for the IMF meeting. The Singapore smile, the compulsory display of national flags on public transports, and the ever-freaky new thing on the block called ‘street protests’ are all seemingly ‘for show’ created specially for the IMF meeting.
Now isn’t Singapore putting in a little bit too much effort for just this thing called the IMF?? I really wonder. And what is it trying to achieve following these inputs?
So having had typed the word IMF for about 10 times by now, perhaps I should briefly remind myself and my readers what IMF is and the role it plays just to further comprehend the whole situation and as to why Singapore is finding the IMF meeting so huge and important and what exactly it tries to achieve out of the grand preparation.
And so "briefly"…
IMF in short is an abbreviation of the International Monetary Fund (OK, everyone knows this). But perhaps not every one knows that the IMF pursues damaging policies that harm poor people in developing countries . Musician Ronan Keating who has traveled to Ghana once said "The government in Ghana, like governments in many developing countries, is not allowed to help its farmers with subsidies, or protect its own chicken market with higher tariffs on imports. "When they did try, the IMF put pressure on the government to back down. This is just one example of how institutions like the IMF and World Bank use their muscle to impose policies on poor countries."
Well the role of the IMF, as according to their policies, is to help economic growth and better equip governments to integrate internationally. However there are reports like the one above saying that the IMF peddles contradictory policies especially those related to health problems. Truthout.org once commented that the IMF has set such strict economic targets for developing countries that the governments could not afford to pay salaries for teachers, doctors and nurses. And that these have compounded problems like HIV/AIDS and shortages of health workers in developing countries.
Yet a country like Singapore could be going all out on the hosting of the IMF meeting. Perhaps Singapore is just one of those countries not all relying on the IMF as a provider or lender to its nation's development. And perhaps too Singapore is just lucky enough not to be harassed by the 'master-servant' ideology in the IMF. Well whatever the case is, let us first look at what Singapore has done/planned to do as part of its welcoming device for the upcoming meeting of the seemingly-not-so-great-after-all IMF in order to answer my opening question.
According to the Economic Times, Singapore is spending about S$135 million ($86 million) for just the event, including budgets for everything from security to tea parties. Such include the building of over 1000 offices on the 4th and 6th stories of Suntec City Convention Centre within just 35 days and each 2 storey office equipped fully with IT connectivity and fully air-conditioned. Buildings have also been spruced up, roads re-laid and citizens encouraged to put on their best smile for the deluge of guests who are expected to throng the city.
Other than that, final year university students were also given practical training such as ‘how to tell the difference between spices’. And games such as sepak takraw were played in between service training for student volunteers, designed in order to help build team spirit as well as a bit of brushing up of their historical and cultural knowledge of Singapore with hopes that these students will be able to provide the best level of service at the IMF meeting.
However there is not much that we can tell by just listing the things Singapore does for the upcoming IMF meeting. Yet we can probably see if Singapore is trying a little bit too hard [or sucking up, rather??] to this international organization commonly referred to as ‘western-dominated International Monetary Fund (IMF)’ if we were to compare Singapore's preparation with that of past IMF host countries.
Past host countries include Czech Republic, Dubai and Hong Kong - and what exactly did they do for the big day??
Dubai spent about DH160 million (S$68.3 million) for "Dubai 2003" IMF meet, and other preparation include the purchase of 250 special coaches for transporting the delegates, hotel accommodation, special guests and visitors, flying in of 16,000 to 20,000 dignitaries, official representatives and international media by Emirates, and construction of the new Dubai Conference Centre and other related facilities. *sorry I won't put the inputs of the other 2 countries down because I got a bit lazy*
But by looking at Dubai's inputs alone has convinced me that Singapore is indeed making the whole thing look far too grand than other past host countries did, also given the fact that Czech Republic carried out its IMF meet from an expenditure provided mostly by the institution itself. So why is Singapore doing this? And what does Singapore hope to achieve from the IMF? Can this help justify the effort Singapore is putting for the upcoming IMF event?
Well what came to my mind when I asked myself those questions were: is Singapore doing it for the sake of Name? Glam? Recognition? Praises? Trust? yes? no? Not sure, but readings have informed me that Singapore hopes to achieve some financial gain just as past host countries to IMF meetings had. The Economic Times stated that Czech Republic, host to IMF in the year 2000 has not only become one of European Union's fastest growing economies but also attracted an influx of foreign investment into its car and electronics industries.
And Dubai, which hosted similar IMF meeting in 2003, has its foreign direct investment in the United Arab Emirates surged nearly seven-fold two years after hosting the IMF meeting. Dubai also started to build the Dubai International Financial Center, and had some 53 financial firms registered to operate there with the number forecasted to rise fivefold by 2009!
And just like these countries, Singapore, as reported by Economic Times, said analysts think the country expects something out of it too. Singapore hopes to make S$170 million in new business, a fraction of overall economic activity, just from the IMF meeting. Besides that, Singapore also hopes to further diversify its economy, creating jobs and boosting growth.
So it seems like, Singapore is, if not indirectly trading money for money, wishes to expand its economic development and nothing else! Well with the outcomes experienced by other past host IMF meetings, it seems that it is rather possible for Singapore to achieve its goals, though on a long term basis. And I personally think forking out a great amount of money and effort on just the IMF meeting is to an extent a sensible move for the Singapore government, provided the country gets what it aims for. On the other hand, of course, inputs could also be seen as having gone a bit too much for simply an institution that is far from perfect, and efforts such as the 'staging' of the IMF protests is just one of the many extras that are unnecessarily included, given Singapore's protest-free culture and environment.
This should however be followed by reminders that positive outcomes following the hosting of such meeting and for such organization does not necessarily be the product of what seem to be very promising. This is because not all host countries benefit from the IMF meeting. Hong Kong, for instance, hosted similar IMF meeting in 1997 yet suffered terribly from recession after that as the meeting took place on the eve of the Asian Financial Crisis. Whilst Hong Kong may be one unlucky host country, it also tells that the IMF, though powerful looking, is not all capable in preventing or fully helping out its host country on the aftermath of such tragedy.
The World Bank's former Director for China and Senior Adviser Yukon Huang once said that Hong Kong, after the financial crisis, didn't benefit fully. He added saying that Hong Kong had problems with bird flu, got wiped out by SARS (Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome) and then suffered from long-term stagnation in part because of the ripple effects of the financial crisis.
So with all the preparation Singapore is putting in, including begging its citizens to look happy (at the very least) from their normal daily "squashed-faced" appearance (Kenji's views), and bringing back its university students' lost historical and cultural knowledge, let us nevertheless keep our fingers crossed and SMILE to whoever we think makes a guest at the IMF meeting. Though unsure if I did get my point across in this post - cuz' my brains aren't still working apparently - I'll end this post with hopes that the 7-day Singapore-IMF 2006 meet succeeds and that Singapore gets whatever it aims for. God bless Singapore and its money-based ambitions.
===========================================
Some readings. I just can't be bothered to reference properly. So here goes my reference list: http://www.truthout.org/docs_2006/042306H.shtml http://www.imf.org/external/ http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1957408.cms http://sg.news.yahoo.com/060905/5/singapore228686.html http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/227652/1/.html http://sg.news.yahoo.com/060827/5/singapore227002.html http://www.uaeinteract.com/news/?cntDisplay=130&ID=188 http://finance.yahoo.com/currency/convert?amt=160&from=AED&to=SGD&submit=Convert
Checked out the IMF homepage yesterday and I found this: ‘2006 Annual Meetings: Singapore, September 19-20, 2006’ printed tiny on the ‘highlights’ section of the IMF external website. I have somehow forgotten, or more accurately, not even cared when exactly the dates the meeting will be conducted here. All I know is the IMF meeting in Singapore will be a string of days sometime in September as I recalled seeing some reminders about road closure on Robinson Rd one day when I went to pick Kenji up from work. So I checked out the IMF homepage just for self-assurance after all those IMF-related ads and reminders that keep appearing not only on streets but also on TV in between programs here in Singapore.
And I was quite surprised to learn that the meeting is only going to be a 2-day affair. Yet Singapore is playing host for about a week, with the entire road closure and all. As the days to the meeting draw closer and closer I realized too that Singapore is getting more and more direct with the inputs the country is putting for the IMF meeting. The Singapore smile, the compulsory display of national flags on public transports, and the ever-freaky new thing on the block called ‘street protests’ are all seemingly ‘for show’ created specially for the IMF meeting.
Now isn’t Singapore putting in a little bit too much effort for just this thing called the IMF?? I really wonder. And what is it trying to achieve following these inputs?
So having had typed the word IMF for about 10 times by now, perhaps I should briefly remind myself and my readers what IMF is and the role it plays just to further comprehend the whole situation and as to why Singapore is finding the IMF meeting so huge and important and what exactly it tries to achieve out of the grand preparation.
And so "briefly"…
IMF in short is an abbreviation of the International Monetary Fund (OK, everyone knows this). But perhaps not every one knows that the IMF pursues damaging policies that harm poor people in developing countries . Musician Ronan Keating who has traveled to Ghana once said "The government in Ghana, like governments in many developing countries, is not allowed to help its farmers with subsidies, or protect its own chicken market with higher tariffs on imports. "When they did try, the IMF put pressure on the government to back down. This is just one example of how institutions like the IMF and World Bank use their muscle to impose policies on poor countries."
Well the role of the IMF, as according to their policies, is to help economic growth and better equip governments to integrate internationally. However there are reports like the one above saying that the IMF peddles contradictory policies especially those related to health problems. Truthout.org once commented that the IMF has set such strict economic targets for developing countries that the governments could not afford to pay salaries for teachers, doctors and nurses. And that these have compounded problems like HIV/AIDS and shortages of health workers in developing countries.
Yet a country like Singapore could be going all out on the hosting of the IMF meeting. Perhaps Singapore is just one of those countries not all relying on the IMF as a provider or lender to its nation's development. And perhaps too Singapore is just lucky enough not to be harassed by the 'master-servant' ideology in the IMF. Well whatever the case is, let us first look at what Singapore has done/planned to do as part of its welcoming device for the upcoming meeting of the seemingly-not-so-great-after-all IMF in order to answer my opening question.
According to the Economic Times, Singapore is spending about S$135 million ($86 million) for just the event, including budgets for everything from security to tea parties. Such include the building of over 1000 offices on the 4th and 6th stories of Suntec City Convention Centre within just 35 days and each 2 storey office equipped fully with IT connectivity and fully air-conditioned. Buildings have also been spruced up, roads re-laid and citizens encouraged to put on their best smile for the deluge of guests who are expected to throng the city.
Other than that, final year university students were also given practical training such as ‘how to tell the difference between spices’. And games such as sepak takraw were played in between service training for student volunteers, designed in order to help build team spirit as well as a bit of brushing up of their historical and cultural knowledge of Singapore with hopes that these students will be able to provide the best level of service at the IMF meeting.
However there is not much that we can tell by just listing the things Singapore does for the upcoming IMF meeting. Yet we can probably see if Singapore is trying a little bit too hard [or sucking up, rather??] to this international organization commonly referred to as ‘western-dominated International Monetary Fund (IMF)’ if we were to compare Singapore's preparation with that of past IMF host countries.
Past host countries include Czech Republic, Dubai and Hong Kong - and what exactly did they do for the big day??
Dubai spent about DH160 million (S$68.3 million) for "Dubai 2003" IMF meet, and other preparation include the purchase of 250 special coaches for transporting the delegates, hotel accommodation, special guests and visitors, flying in of 16,000 to 20,000 dignitaries, official representatives and international media by Emirates, and construction of the new Dubai Conference Centre and other related facilities. *sorry I won't put the inputs of the other 2 countries down because I got a bit lazy*
But by looking at Dubai's inputs alone has convinced me that Singapore is indeed making the whole thing look far too grand than other past host countries did, also given the fact that Czech Republic carried out its IMF meet from an expenditure provided mostly by the institution itself. So why is Singapore doing this? And what does Singapore hope to achieve from the IMF? Can this help justify the effort Singapore is putting for the upcoming IMF event?
Well what came to my mind when I asked myself those questions were: is Singapore doing it for the sake of Name? Glam? Recognition? Praises? Trust? yes? no? Not sure, but readings have informed me that Singapore hopes to achieve some financial gain just as past host countries to IMF meetings had. The Economic Times stated that Czech Republic, host to IMF in the year 2000 has not only become one of European Union's fastest growing economies but also attracted an influx of foreign investment into its car and electronics industries.
And Dubai, which hosted similar IMF meeting in 2003, has its foreign direct investment in the United Arab Emirates surged nearly seven-fold two years after hosting the IMF meeting. Dubai also started to build the Dubai International Financial Center, and had some 53 financial firms registered to operate there with the number forecasted to rise fivefold by 2009!
And just like these countries, Singapore, as reported by Economic Times, said analysts think the country expects something out of it too. Singapore hopes to make S$170 million in new business, a fraction of overall economic activity, just from the IMF meeting. Besides that, Singapore also hopes to further diversify its economy, creating jobs and boosting growth.
So it seems like, Singapore is, if not indirectly trading money for money, wishes to expand its economic development and nothing else! Well with the outcomes experienced by other past host IMF meetings, it seems that it is rather possible for Singapore to achieve its goals, though on a long term basis. And I personally think forking out a great amount of money and effort on just the IMF meeting is to an extent a sensible move for the Singapore government, provided the country gets what it aims for. On the other hand, of course, inputs could also be seen as having gone a bit too much for simply an institution that is far from perfect, and efforts such as the 'staging' of the IMF protests is just one of the many extras that are unnecessarily included, given Singapore's protest-free culture and environment.
This should however be followed by reminders that positive outcomes following the hosting of such meeting and for such organization does not necessarily be the product of what seem to be very promising. This is because not all host countries benefit from the IMF meeting. Hong Kong, for instance, hosted similar IMF meeting in 1997 yet suffered terribly from recession after that as the meeting took place on the eve of the Asian Financial Crisis. Whilst Hong Kong may be one unlucky host country, it also tells that the IMF, though powerful looking, is not all capable in preventing or fully helping out its host country on the aftermath of such tragedy.
The World Bank's former Director for China and Senior Adviser Yukon Huang once said that Hong Kong, after the financial crisis, didn't benefit fully. He added saying that Hong Kong had problems with bird flu, got wiped out by SARS (Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome) and then suffered from long-term stagnation in part because of the ripple effects of the financial crisis.
So with all the preparation Singapore is putting in, including begging its citizens to look happy (at the very least) from their normal daily "squashed-faced" appearance (Kenji's views), and bringing back its university students' lost historical and cultural knowledge, let us nevertheless keep our fingers crossed and SMILE to whoever we think makes a guest at the IMF meeting. Though unsure if I did get my point across in this post - cuz' my brains aren't still working apparently - I'll end this post with hopes that the 7-day Singapore-IMF 2006 meet succeeds and that Singapore gets whatever it aims for. God bless Singapore and its money-based ambitions.
===========================================
Some readings. I just can't be bothered to reference properly. So here goes my reference list: http://www.truthout.org/docs_2006/042306H.shtml http://www.imf.org/external/ http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1957408.cms http://sg.news.yahoo.com/060905/5/singapore228686.html http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/227652/1/.html http://sg.news.yahoo.com/060827/5/singapore227002.html http://www.uaeinteract.com/news/?cntDisplay=130&ID=188 http://finance.yahoo.com/currency/convert?amt=160&from=AED&to=SGD&submit=Convert
Thursday, May 18, 2006
My Long Story of Renting A Place in Tiny Singapore
Ha… I finally got my own place. How exciting!
Well I wasn’t meant to write about the result of getting my own place or anything like that. I wanted to write about my complaints regarding the process of renting an apartment in Singapore, but it is just taking me ages to complete such complaint because I don’t even know where or how to start in the first place. And it has been a desire to write about it until I finally found my own place just last evening. Then again, I still have the drive to write it down as a blog post as I would like to be reminded of my thoughts with regards to the things I came across while in search of an apartment in Singapore. So here it goes…
My first search was a HDB apartment close to the city. It was expensive (S$950 per month for a tiny apartment with no stove), terribly furnished, and in an old estate. And because it is in an old estate, the surrounding was pretty dirty and cramped, and most of the residents in the estate were of the older generation. I didn’t like it at all. But the agent who showed around was pretty nice so she was kind of OK with me not liking it.
My second search was also a HDB apartment, but slightly more spacious than the previous one that I saw. The apartment was totally unfurnished though very clean and according to the agent no one has lived there before. The apartment was good despite the fact that it was on the 2nd storey, and price was quite OK although I would prefer if the cost of rental was lower. But the main drive to reject this apartment was the agent who brought me to the place for I found him very rude and pushy. His aggressive approach in getting me to sign the rental contract right away just so convinced me that he is not trustable and that he was there to cheat me. I could picture him running away with my money. Ewww… I quickly forget about renting the place then.
The next one was very memorable as after that I started looking into another direction. I started looking for private apartments after: -
Well I wasn’t meant to write about the result of getting my own place or anything like that. I wanted to write about my complaints regarding the process of renting an apartment in Singapore, but it is just taking me ages to complete such complaint because I don’t even know where or how to start in the first place. And it has been a desire to write about it until I finally found my own place just last evening. Then again, I still have the drive to write it down as a blog post as I would like to be reminded of my thoughts with regards to the things I came across while in search of an apartment in Singapore. So here it goes…
My first search was a HDB apartment close to the city. It was expensive (S$950 per month for a tiny apartment with no stove), terribly furnished, and in an old estate. And because it is in an old estate, the surrounding was pretty dirty and cramped, and most of the residents in the estate were of the older generation. I didn’t like it at all. But the agent who showed around was pretty nice so she was kind of OK with me not liking it.
My second search was also a HDB apartment, but slightly more spacious than the previous one that I saw. The apartment was totally unfurnished though very clean and according to the agent no one has lived there before. The apartment was good despite the fact that it was on the 2nd storey, and price was quite OK although I would prefer if the cost of rental was lower. But the main drive to reject this apartment was the agent who brought me to the place for I found him very rude and pushy. His aggressive approach in getting me to sign the rental contract right away just so convinced me that he is not trustable and that he was there to cheat me. I could picture him running away with my money. Ewww… I quickly forget about renting the place then.
The next one was very memorable as after that I started looking into another direction. I started looking for private apartments after: -
- I found out that the agent for this unit I was looking at wasn’t being honest with me with regards to the fact that the flat was not approved for rental by the government and therefore the owner chose to go with locking of one bedroom door as a method to deceive the HDB officials. *locking of one bedroom door is supposed to mean that the owner is living with the tenants*
- I realized that I have to sign a room rental contract instead of a unit rental one
- So many things in that flat needed to be fixed – although the agent told me that all fixing can be done, but I doubted the quality of the work because some things that required fixing are expensive, and that I suspected the owner himself is in need of money which was why he rented out his place. So I don’t believe that fixing can be done. Even if it could, I believe it would be done with less care and quality
- the unit wasn’t well taken care of, and was quite dirty
- I found out that re-painting of the unit was done by the agent renting out that unit instead of the owner or professional painters, and when I questioned the agent why he was the one who painted the place, he couldn’t give me an answer that convinces me of its rationality. This also makes me question the relationship between the agent and the owner. In addition, the owner too appears as if he does not know much about the things that have been going on at his place, or probably he just doesn't bother getting himself involved with renting out of his place and prefers leaving everything to the agent [which is a bad thing]
- I found out that there have been complaints from neighbors about previous tenants who were construction workers, so the unit basically had a bad reputation amongst neighbors by then
- I studied the rental contract and I didn’t like it. It was very one-sided, which means, the contract was generally in support of the owner, and the only role the owner has to play by agreement to the tenant was to not enter the unit as long as there is a tenant without letting the tenant know in advance.
- The unit wasn’t conveniently located
- There were suddenly agents representing me when I didn’t even ask for one. And then that same agent (representing me) got really pushy over my decision-making, tried hard to get me to sign the contract. Then told me I should continue using their service since I have already started using them. What the ****, i thought
So there were arguments. I questioned them thoroughly and then they stopped contacting me. So that was good news.
So I started looking for private apartments then. I searched to rent a whole unit of a condominium (Singapore version of high-rise private apartments) and the least expensive that I saw cost about S$1.6k per month. It was still kind of OK I thought, even though it had gone slightly beyond budget. But the price of rental for this one does make sense as this apartment comes with a pool, gym, salon, convenient store, security and other facilities. Besides the unit is also nicely and fully-furnished. Rental of a unit also comes in a choice of long or short term, so that was good since I have yet any intention of buying a place. Also because I might return to living abroad some time in the near future. So thumbs up for private apartments!
But just like its counterparts, all other private apartments, to me, are not quite conveniently located so I had to wait and look around for more before considering. In addition there are some aspects of private apartments that I do not quite like. For example, not all units are close to the entrance of a property so depending on which block one is staying, one has to make a big round before arriving at its entrance, vice-versa.
So it got me a bit confused with the loads of HDB flats that are available but one whose system sucks! And the many condominiums that may have better rental system, but whose price goes beyond budget a bit and not quite conveniently located. I just thought I should get myself focused and therefore thought I should quit looking into HDB flats anymore. The last experience on a HDB unit was heartbreaking anyways.
But just before I close my doors to HDB flats, this guy let me know of a flat he thought I might be interested in. I met the agent last evening. He appeared OK and nice, though I leave myself about 30% of doubt and suspicion on him, as I am after all a risk-adverse person! I went to see the place and met the tenants. They were Aussies. It was fun chatting with them. There was a sudden bond with the tenants, I felt. It was refreshing to meet Aussies and it just reminded me – I just can’t wait to see some Aussie friends who are coming around very soon!
Anyway, the place itself was spacious, good price, clean, cozy, has a great view, convenient, and nicely and fully furnished. What more could I ask for??!! So I agreed with renting the place.
Things were so much better after that. I left for home happy and relieved. I just couldn’t wait to tell my parents about it.
As of now, I just can’t wait to move out. I’m so looking forward to having my own place and being independent once again. Ha, how exciting!
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Calculating The Benefits of Marriage
Last 2 nights before falling asleep, I was somehow calculating the benefits I would get out of marriage; one in particular was the amount of time I would get to spend with my husband when married.
Drawing from the typical lifestyle of a young, married couple in the modern world, I realized that the ideas that come together with marriage such as living together, the ability to be with one another and spending endless time with each other is just a piece of shit that misleads many like me to think marriage as something very promising but actually merely thoughts which will never quite happen and one that will never quite come true.
For I think many married couples spend a lot of their time at work than they actually do with their spouse in a normal working day. It is of course not by choice, but this too, has caused many, at some points of time in their life, to actually end up familiarizing themselves to their colleagues loads more than they think they do towards their spouse.
Also because of the demands at work in creating and maintaining good co-worker relationship, more time, energy and effort are needed to be spent engaging in conversation and recreation with colleagues during work and over lunch breaks, day by day, than with spouse, who probably gets to spend only about 3-4 hours with the other half in each working day.
Even then the 3-4 hours spent on a spouse would be one that will be accompanied with a surrounding atmosphere of exhaustion from, and complaints or stories about work, given my observation on working adults who work on a 9 to 6 schedule, who casually find home a retreat and a place to destress themselves before the next day.
So it seems like there is not going to be much change or rather, progress, in the amount of time I can spend with my husband when married as compared to that of the "dating days" as he will be working and he will be left with little time for me each day.
So why do people in general still portray the image of marriage as a step to an enhanced togetherness and companionship when in reality marriage neither comes with an increased time for one another nor better off the relationship through the time spent on each other. Doesn’t it make marriage a false anticipation to a greater sense of eternal friendship in a couple?
Drawing from the typical lifestyle of a young, married couple in the modern world, I realized that the ideas that come together with marriage such as living together, the ability to be with one another and spending endless time with each other is just a piece of shit that misleads many like me to think marriage as something very promising but actually merely thoughts which will never quite happen and one that will never quite come true.
For I think many married couples spend a lot of their time at work than they actually do with their spouse in a normal working day. It is of course not by choice, but this too, has caused many, at some points of time in their life, to actually end up familiarizing themselves to their colleagues loads more than they think they do towards their spouse.
Also because of the demands at work in creating and maintaining good co-worker relationship, more time, energy and effort are needed to be spent engaging in conversation and recreation with colleagues during work and over lunch breaks, day by day, than with spouse, who probably gets to spend only about 3-4 hours with the other half in each working day.
Even then the 3-4 hours spent on a spouse would be one that will be accompanied with a surrounding atmosphere of exhaustion from, and complaints or stories about work, given my observation on working adults who work on a 9 to 6 schedule, who casually find home a retreat and a place to destress themselves before the next day.
So it seems like there is not going to be much change or rather, progress, in the amount of time I can spend with my husband when married as compared to that of the "dating days" as he will be working and he will be left with little time for me each day.
So why do people in general still portray the image of marriage as a step to an enhanced togetherness and companionship when in reality marriage neither comes with an increased time for one another nor better off the relationship through the time spent on each other. Doesn’t it make marriage a false anticipation to a greater sense of eternal friendship in a couple?
Thursday, March 16, 2006
'Returning home Information for Graduates' - from Diane Smith
Below is an email from Diane Smith, the university's International Student Adviser. The email consists of a long list of tips for returnees. Although I may have returned home for a couple of months by now yet I am still keeping and referring to this mail a lot in order to help me overcome the difficulties I am currently facing in settling back home. So here it is, Diane Smith's email-turn-post.
Returning Home
On returning home you may expect to feel quickly ‘at home’ and at ease. Often students returning home may find the environment less familiar than expected, and unanticipated changes in social and family environments may have occurred.
Exposure to a different way of living can influence your expectations about returning home. While in Australia you may have experienced new opportunities in the areas of relationships, personal freedom, employment and career prospects. You will have made adaptations to meet these new circumstances.
On returning home you will once again be required to adapt, you may not be aware of the enormous changes in yourself, and may have gradually developed different views. It might be useful to think about how you have changed because of your experience in Australia, and about the nature of that change before returning home.
You may find the following information/checklist is to assist you in your returning home. Please also consider making contact with the Student Advisors in relation to any issues or concerns you may have.
Freight Information
There are several ways of sending your belongings home.
Check with your airline you are flying with for specific regulations. Arrangements must be made with your airline prior to your departure for unaccompanied baggage. All luggage must be under 20kg any over will be treated as excess baggage. Look out for the Red Hot Chillie airfare available through STA Travel (Hobart 62243496 Launceston 63243922) which has an excess baggage of over 20kg).
There are a number of companies that provide a service. You may want to use a Freight Broker such as Total Freight Solutions (Steve Miller – Hobart telephone 0418580544) www.jetta.com.au
Other Options would include Australia Post for light and small objects.www.australiapost.com.au
Returning Home
On returning home you may expect to feel quickly ‘at home’ and at ease. Often students returning home may find the environment less familiar than expected, and unanticipated changes in social and family environments may have occurred.
Exposure to a different way of living can influence your expectations about returning home. While in Australia you may have experienced new opportunities in the areas of relationships, personal freedom, employment and career prospects. You will have made adaptations to meet these new circumstances.
On returning home you will once again be required to adapt, you may not be aware of the enormous changes in yourself, and may have gradually developed different views. It might be useful to think about how you have changed because of your experience in Australia, and about the nature of that change before returning home.
You may find the following information/checklist is to assist you in your returning home. Please also consider making contact with the Student Advisors in relation to any issues or concerns you may have.
- Prepare for the Re-entry Process
- Returning Home Checklist
- Freight Information
- Prepare for the Re-entry Process
- Allow yourself time
Don’t expect you will fit in immediately with life back home. Readjustment takes time and involves experiencing a lot of different feelings and reactions. Try to reflect on how you are responding and what you are observing. You might find it helpful to record your thoughts and feelings in a diary.
Understand that the familiar will now be different – all things change!
You are likely to experience your culture from an altered perspective, one that can lead to greater insight and contribute to personal learning. Talking with other returnees can help put this in perspective.
- There will be some “cultural catching “ up to do
- Cultures are dynamic and ever changing.
- Catching up on what has changed (local slang, work practices) can be very tiring.
- At times, you may feel very irritable, confused or wish to withdraw.
- Try to have plenty of rest and spend some times in quiet conversation with family or old friends.
- Remember to exercise and eat good food.
- At times you may feel homesick for Australia.
Be sensitive to the differences Remember to greet family and people in an appropriate and customary manner. Be sensitive to the differences between you and be aware that your experience has altered your perceptions and worldview.
- Beware of comparisons
Avoid making comparisons between cultures and nations. Most cultures are a mix of aspects we find positive and negative. Try to remain flexible and keep a balanced view. Respecting and valuing difference is useful.
- Seek support networks
Do lots of talking to other students. If possible try and get in touch with past returnees in your home culture. You may find it helpful hearing their stories of readjustment – the things that worked for them and the things that did not.
- Moving home to family
Being in Australia has meant living outside the family home and enjoying a degree of freedom that might not have been available at home. After being in Australia for a few years, this freedom may have become something that you take for granted. Returning home and living with your parents may require adjustment and may take time.
You may also want to consider:
Cultural Adjustments
-changes in lifestyle
-family and community pressure to conform
-stereotyped male and female roles
-diminished personal privacy
Social Adjustment
-feelings of perceived superiority due to international experience and travel
-different amenities which were part of Australian living
-self questioning about traditional patterns of social interaction
-frustration and confusion as a result of differing attitudes and values
Language Barriers
-lack of familiarity with verbal and or non verbal codes used in Australia
-colleagues who do not speak in the same manner or use the same jargon
-unfamiliarity with new forms of communication or styles of expression used in home country
Education
-inability to reconcile aspects of Australian education to education in home country
-absence of professional education programs to keep up with new developments or knowledge
Professional Challenges
- to find employment in chosen field
- to communicate fully what was learned
-feeling of superiority /inferiority due to Australian training
-unrealistically high expectations of yourself and of you by other people.
Above all, give yourself time to resettle at home and remember that you have gained important skills while studying in Australia that will assist you to re-orientate yourself to being home.
Returning Home Check List
- Make sure you say your goodbyes. Call and visit your friends before you go. Arrange for your telephone to be disconnected and for your account to be paid.
- Apply for a refund of Medibank fees if you are eligible
- Settle other outstanding accounts eg rent, electricity
- Close your bank account and keep aside some cash for departure tax, souvenirs. Collect any medical insurance claims which you may be entitled to
- Finalise any accommodation arrangements, return keys, collect bond
- Redirect mail at the post office
- Give your home address to Student Administration. Register with the Alumni Association to enable you to get regular newsletters from the University. (Alumni.Office@utas.edu.au)
- Make a copy from the handbook of your course. You may need that in the future to apply for work or further study.
- If you have excess luggage make enquiries with your airline or a Freight Broker such as Total Freight Solutions or Jetta Express http://www.jetta.com.au/ Consult Customs to find out what regulations exist in determining what you will need to consider when taking your belongings home
- Notify family and friends of time of arrival of your flight
- Pay any outstanding money to University (Tuition fees, library fines) so that your degree transcript can be released and you can graduate.
- Make sure that you notify the Graduations Office of where you want your Testamur sent if you are not attending graduation ceremony.
- Return any borrowed items i.e. books, household equipment
- Confirm your flight with the Airline at least 48 hours before your flight departs. Be there two hours before departure.
Freight Information
There are several ways of sending your belongings home.
Check with your airline you are flying with for specific regulations. Arrangements must be made with your airline prior to your departure for unaccompanied baggage. All luggage must be under 20kg any over will be treated as excess baggage. Look out for the Red Hot Chillie airfare available through STA Travel (Hobart 62243496 Launceston 63243922) which has an excess baggage of over 20kg).
There are a number of companies that provide a service. You may want to use a Freight Broker such as Total Freight Solutions (Steve Miller – Hobart telephone 0418580544) www.jetta.com.au
Other Options would include Australia Post for light and small objects.www.australiapost.com.au
Have a safe trip home and our best wishes for a happy and successful transition to work.
Friday, March 3, 2006
Adjusting To Changes In The Family
My brother has left home for an army camp early this morning to join the armed forces as part of his National Service (NS). His absence is just another transformation to the family that, well, let me just put it as 'has been taking place a little bit more frequently than it ever did' when we were all much younger.
National Service (NS) in Singapore is a compulsory conscription to all male Singapore citizens and second-generation permanent residents once they reach the age of 18. My brother is 20 at the time he starts serving the nation, but just like the others, he has to serve a period of two years as a Full Time National Serviceman (NSFs) in the military.
My brother’s absence due to the conscription though not for the entire two years (as he will be back every now and then), is just another illustration that contributes to the changes within the family (particularly with regards to the family size) which I am going to talk about, and which to a certain extent have made me feel like I was the one responsible for the start!
My departure for Australia about 4 years ago seemed (to me) to have triggered such transformation within my family that has always looked like a flock, without a single one missing.
I know transformations within each family are inevitable and will occur at some points of time in everyone’s life. For example, a marriage can cause both increase and decrease in the number of family members in a household, and a death of a member of a family will cause a permanent change in the family and a fall in the number of members in that household. For those who have experienced any of the two or both might probably be thinking that the changes in my family, particularly the temporary shrinking of my family size is of no big deal.
But such transformation to my family which only began to intensify in the past 4 years came one after another within an interval of 6 months each, starting with my departure to Hobart in 2002. 6 months after my departure, my younger sister left home for Perth to do her degree, and another 6 months later my elder sister joined her (in Perth) for the same reason. And since then my family size has shrunken to 4 people, but increases like an extended family each time we all return home for our summer holiday.
And because of the nature of our departure, and the nature of our absence, I have always thought it easy for my family to put up with the entire thing without much concern. Also as the one to leave home (and the one who would always leave home for Australia after each summer holiday earlier than the other two would), I never knew what it felt like to be the one to see and live in the shrunken family size.
And now that I am home, I realized that I AM NOT enjoying every moment someone from my family leaves - not for work or school, but for a period of time, living somewhere else. My sisters left for Perth 2 weeks after my return and now my brother has left home for an entire fortnight for the army. It's an awful feeling altogether. Not only do I have to cope with the absence of some members of the family I grew familiar with over the past weeks since my return, but also to cope with the ways each remaining member of the family reacts and expresses his/her feelings with regards to the changes. And I believe after a while of settling down and accepting home as it is, another round of disturbance will occur when a member returns home after a long period of time of being away. My return in January, for example, has caused massive unhappiness to almost everyone at home because I was taking away some things my family has grown familiar to while I was away.
Such adjustments, I believe will not end anytime soon. There are further adjustments that we will all have to go through, and the soonest to come would be the return of my brother in two weeks time. Though we will all be very happy to have him at home, the happiness will probably only last for the next 2 days as he will have to leave for the camp again on Sunday night. Until we all get used to it, I do feel terribly sorry for my other family members like mum, dad, and Asyraf who have to keep adjusting to such situations since 4 years back each time someone from the family leaves or returns. Hence apologies on my behalf...
National Service (NS) in Singapore is a compulsory conscription to all male Singapore citizens and second-generation permanent residents once they reach the age of 18. My brother is 20 at the time he starts serving the nation, but just like the others, he has to serve a period of two years as a Full Time National Serviceman (NSFs) in the military.
My brother’s absence due to the conscription though not for the entire two years (as he will be back every now and then), is just another illustration that contributes to the changes within the family (particularly with regards to the family size) which I am going to talk about, and which to a certain extent have made me feel like I was the one responsible for the start!
My departure for Australia about 4 years ago seemed (to me) to have triggered such transformation within my family that has always looked like a flock, without a single one missing.
I know transformations within each family are inevitable and will occur at some points of time in everyone’s life. For example, a marriage can cause both increase and decrease in the number of family members in a household, and a death of a member of a family will cause a permanent change in the family and a fall in the number of members in that household. For those who have experienced any of the two or both might probably be thinking that the changes in my family, particularly the temporary shrinking of my family size is of no big deal.
But such transformation to my family which only began to intensify in the past 4 years came one after another within an interval of 6 months each, starting with my departure to Hobart in 2002. 6 months after my departure, my younger sister left home for Perth to do her degree, and another 6 months later my elder sister joined her (in Perth) for the same reason. And since then my family size has shrunken to 4 people, but increases like an extended family each time we all return home for our summer holiday.
And because of the nature of our departure, and the nature of our absence, I have always thought it easy for my family to put up with the entire thing without much concern. Also as the one to leave home (and the one who would always leave home for Australia after each summer holiday earlier than the other two would), I never knew what it felt like to be the one to see and live in the shrunken family size.
And now that I am home, I realized that I AM NOT enjoying every moment someone from my family leaves - not for work or school, but for a period of time, living somewhere else. My sisters left for Perth 2 weeks after my return and now my brother has left home for an entire fortnight for the army. It's an awful feeling altogether. Not only do I have to cope with the absence of some members of the family I grew familiar with over the past weeks since my return, but also to cope with the ways each remaining member of the family reacts and expresses his/her feelings with regards to the changes. And I believe after a while of settling down and accepting home as it is, another round of disturbance will occur when a member returns home after a long period of time of being away. My return in January, for example, has caused massive unhappiness to almost everyone at home because I was taking away some things my family has grown familiar to while I was away.
Such adjustments, I believe will not end anytime soon. There are further adjustments that we will all have to go through, and the soonest to come would be the return of my brother in two weeks time. Though we will all be very happy to have him at home, the happiness will probably only last for the next 2 days as he will have to leave for the camp again on Sunday night. Until we all get used to it, I do feel terribly sorry for my other family members like mum, dad, and Asyraf who have to keep adjusting to such situations since 4 years back each time someone from the family leaves or returns. Hence apologies on my behalf...
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
The Conservative’s View of A Gay Friend…
Have you ever been told of something you find hard to believe? Well, I have…just recently. Let me tell you the story…
I was told that a good friend of mine is...gay. Apparently the person who told me this had kept it to himself for a year before finally letting me know that that friend of mine is gay. According to him, he was waiting for the right time to break the news, fearing that my conservative mindset will never allow the friendship with that gay friend to grow if I was told earlier. I don’t know why the informer had badly wanted me to keep that friendship but probably he fancies seeing colorful personalities in my circle of friends. So upon the disclosure of the gayness of a friend, I was at my superficial self where I took it openly, handled it well but before long, I lay miserable in my room all alone, thinking and re-thinking…why does he have to be gay, I asked myself. And what does it mean being gay?
That gay friend of mine does not possess any gay attitude as far as I know. Neither does he appear gay nor talks like one. In fact he has never expressed any sense of gayness to me. I shared a few classes with him in the entire of my undergrad life but not once had he expressed his opinions on, or backed homosexuality. So I was obviously surprised to learn that he is a gay, nevertheless the frail look of his built as well as the fact that I could hang around him without ever feeling uneasy might have given away as clues to the fact that he is gay. I can’t say that those thoughts never did crop up in my mind but each time they did, I brushed them aside, not allowing any single moment to think of possibilities of him being gay.
As soon as I was informed that that friend is gay, I couldn’t help but to try to recollect the past and recall everything that may have revealed his gay-ness. I also wondered if I had said anything anti-homosexual that have hurt his feelings that might have led to his reluctance to reveal his sexuality to me. The whole situation then became complex. I was not only thinking of the past but also trying to foresee what it was going to be like when I see him the following week. I wasn’t sure what sort of gay he is/has become and hence wondered how I should behave towards him, or more importantly, I wasn’t even sure if I could pretend as though things were normal!
The next day I was just getting more and more paranoid with regards to people in general as to whom I can trust according to what I see. Because within 24 hrs of the news I became paranoid and started wondering if all these people on the street that I saw weren’t straight…
To be honest, that gay friend of mine was not the first person I know who is, or have turned into, a homosexual. But I refused to acknowledge “that fact” about him because not only was I preferring to believe that he was just pretending to be one but also of my critical views of homosexual friends that I never wished to think of a friend like him that way.
I tend to have biased perceptions of friends who identify themselves as homosexuals simply because I strongly feel they are just pretending to be a part of this supposedly in-thing without really understanding what goes on in the homosexual world other than knowing it is a world where ‘people are sexually attracted to people of the same sex’. And with such surface understanding of this seemingly developing fad, it would not be wrong if I were to say that becoming a homosexual is thus an unnecessary move (for my friends, at least) as it seems to be aiming at nothing more than purely for the sake of public interest.
Because by identifying oneself as a homosexual I think my friends not only presume they could be provided with instantaneous identity that deputizes passports that immediately relocate them into a changing but controversial society, but also think they are given opportunities to be the society's center of attention for having the power to exploit the controversies of homosexuality and particularly now that it is getting increasing consideration (predominantly gays) from the media and politics for being “oppressed minorities”. And if it was ever an in-thing, my dear gay friends, please do tell me to what extent is it really in vogue to be in the small world of “just men”, playing the gay game in search of fellow man to ‘play and be played with’ as I have yet to understand this as normal, fun looking and cool sounding. Is this the modern sense of fashion and identity?
But with regards to friends who have “sincerely” turned into homosexuals, or are already “serious” homosexuals when I became friends with them, in my eyes they all share something in common: they seemed to have chosen homosexuality over others as a solution to personal problems, more often after losing out in the undeclared but universally acknowledged competition to feel belonged and needed by people of the opposite sex. For some, they seemed to have given up the competition without even competing; where they effortlessly surrendered their sexuality simply by changing its direction, whether or not taking advantage of the fact that homosexuality is a developing fad and an expanding herd.
Changing direction from straight to homosexuality is, as I choose to believe, largely psychological. It is just like how we allow ourselves to be what we think we are, and then we start to feel like one, and act like one and then we get treated like one. And then that’s how we all end up being the person we think we all are. As for me, I allowed myself to believe that girl friends sucks big time (sorry girls!). I directed my expectations and opinions of, as well as behavior to, girl friends in my own way, not realizing that consequentially I shut all trusts and opportunities I had of good girl-girl friendship off my mind. Overtime I became a hardcore believer that girl friendships are never for real and that boys make better friends. Similarly, my sincere homosexual friends are the result of self-controlled minds, given time and opportunities, they ended up being concerned with (in this case, feeling attracted to) whatever they’ve directed themselves at.
Although my homosexual friends may, on one hand, seem strong-minded for having the power to control their mind to homosexuality yet on the other permanently possess an initial failure to general perspective of sexuality that may have overpowered my sights to see them as weak and defeated.
So this gay friend of mine, I’m not quite sure where he fits in though I heard he is a serious gay who, since young, has never possessed any interest in the opposite sex and as of now, goes after another male species for sex. It is a vague account of his gayness nevertheless; I would still persist to prefer to believe that he is just pretending to be a homosexual until I hear about it openly from the person himself. I may seem conservative and stubborn for refusing to accept his seemingly supposed nature. This nevertheless does not prevent me from respecting him as an individual or keeping him as a friend if it was ever true he is a gay. I love all of my friends and am open enough to accepting people of all walks of life in my group of contacts as long as they are of no harm to me. As of now, I probably need a little bit of time to adjust my mindset to accepting the fact that my good friend is gay, but that will also depend on the rationality of his reasons for being a homosexual. Because I believe there are grounds for us to be anything we have directed ourselves to be, but unfortunately to me “having no interest in the opposite sex” is as unconvincing a reason would be as it is easily contested following all rationality even though it may be enough for him to come to pass as grounds to convince himself that it is one reason to be a gay.
I was told that a good friend of mine is...gay. Apparently the person who told me this had kept it to himself for a year before finally letting me know that that friend of mine is gay. According to him, he was waiting for the right time to break the news, fearing that my conservative mindset will never allow the friendship with that gay friend to grow if I was told earlier. I don’t know why the informer had badly wanted me to keep that friendship but probably he fancies seeing colorful personalities in my circle of friends. So upon the disclosure of the gayness of a friend, I was at my superficial self where I took it openly, handled it well but before long, I lay miserable in my room all alone, thinking and re-thinking…why does he have to be gay, I asked myself. And what does it mean being gay?
That gay friend of mine does not possess any gay attitude as far as I know. Neither does he appear gay nor talks like one. In fact he has never expressed any sense of gayness to me. I shared a few classes with him in the entire of my undergrad life but not once had he expressed his opinions on, or backed homosexuality. So I was obviously surprised to learn that he is a gay, nevertheless the frail look of his built as well as the fact that I could hang around him without ever feeling uneasy might have given away as clues to the fact that he is gay. I can’t say that those thoughts never did crop up in my mind but each time they did, I brushed them aside, not allowing any single moment to think of possibilities of him being gay.
As soon as I was informed that that friend is gay, I couldn’t help but to try to recollect the past and recall everything that may have revealed his gay-ness. I also wondered if I had said anything anti-homosexual that have hurt his feelings that might have led to his reluctance to reveal his sexuality to me. The whole situation then became complex. I was not only thinking of the past but also trying to foresee what it was going to be like when I see him the following week. I wasn’t sure what sort of gay he is/has become and hence wondered how I should behave towards him, or more importantly, I wasn’t even sure if I could pretend as though things were normal!
The next day I was just getting more and more paranoid with regards to people in general as to whom I can trust according to what I see. Because within 24 hrs of the news I became paranoid and started wondering if all these people on the street that I saw weren’t straight…
To be honest, that gay friend of mine was not the first person I know who is, or have turned into, a homosexual. But I refused to acknowledge “that fact” about him because not only was I preferring to believe that he was just pretending to be one but also of my critical views of homosexual friends that I never wished to think of a friend like him that way.
I tend to have biased perceptions of friends who identify themselves as homosexuals simply because I strongly feel they are just pretending to be a part of this supposedly in-thing without really understanding what goes on in the homosexual world other than knowing it is a world where ‘people are sexually attracted to people of the same sex’. And with such surface understanding of this seemingly developing fad, it would not be wrong if I were to say that becoming a homosexual is thus an unnecessary move (for my friends, at least) as it seems to be aiming at nothing more than purely for the sake of public interest.
Because by identifying oneself as a homosexual I think my friends not only presume they could be provided with instantaneous identity that deputizes passports that immediately relocate them into a changing but controversial society, but also think they are given opportunities to be the society's center of attention for having the power to exploit the controversies of homosexuality and particularly now that it is getting increasing consideration (predominantly gays) from the media and politics for being “oppressed minorities”. And if it was ever an in-thing, my dear gay friends, please do tell me to what extent is it really in vogue to be in the small world of “just men”, playing the gay game in search of fellow man to ‘play and be played with’ as I have yet to understand this as normal, fun looking and cool sounding. Is this the modern sense of fashion and identity?
But with regards to friends who have “sincerely” turned into homosexuals, or are already “serious” homosexuals when I became friends with them, in my eyes they all share something in common: they seemed to have chosen homosexuality over others as a solution to personal problems, more often after losing out in the undeclared but universally acknowledged competition to feel belonged and needed by people of the opposite sex. For some, they seemed to have given up the competition without even competing; where they effortlessly surrendered their sexuality simply by changing its direction, whether or not taking advantage of the fact that homosexuality is a developing fad and an expanding herd.
Changing direction from straight to homosexuality is, as I choose to believe, largely psychological. It is just like how we allow ourselves to be what we think we are, and then we start to feel like one, and act like one and then we get treated like one. And then that’s how we all end up being the person we think we all are. As for me, I allowed myself to believe that girl friends sucks big time (sorry girls!). I directed my expectations and opinions of, as well as behavior to, girl friends in my own way, not realizing that consequentially I shut all trusts and opportunities I had of good girl-girl friendship off my mind. Overtime I became a hardcore believer that girl friendships are never for real and that boys make better friends. Similarly, my sincere homosexual friends are the result of self-controlled minds, given time and opportunities, they ended up being concerned with (in this case, feeling attracted to) whatever they’ve directed themselves at.
Although my homosexual friends may, on one hand, seem strong-minded for having the power to control their mind to homosexuality yet on the other permanently possess an initial failure to general perspective of sexuality that may have overpowered my sights to see them as weak and defeated.
So this gay friend of mine, I’m not quite sure where he fits in though I heard he is a serious gay who, since young, has never possessed any interest in the opposite sex and as of now, goes after another male species for sex. It is a vague account of his gayness nevertheless; I would still persist to prefer to believe that he is just pretending to be a homosexual until I hear about it openly from the person himself. I may seem conservative and stubborn for refusing to accept his seemingly supposed nature. This nevertheless does not prevent me from respecting him as an individual or keeping him as a friend if it was ever true he is a gay. I love all of my friends and am open enough to accepting people of all walks of life in my group of contacts as long as they are of no harm to me. As of now, I probably need a little bit of time to adjust my mindset to accepting the fact that my good friend is gay, but that will also depend on the rationality of his reasons for being a homosexual. Because I believe there are grounds for us to be anything we have directed ourselves to be, but unfortunately to me “having no interest in the opposite sex” is as unconvincing a reason would be as it is easily contested following all rationality even though it may be enough for him to come to pass as grounds to convince himself that it is one reason to be a gay.
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