Not working.

I find it interesting how like-minded the people in Singapore can be. Below is an account of reactions of the people I met here towards my "STILL doing nothing"-ness in the country. Read on...

I was at Orchard's Post Office one day, paying my bills, when I was asked a couple of questions with regards to work by the woman serving me. Firstly she thought I was working somewhere nearby and was on a coffee break that I decided to drop by the post office to settle my bills. When I told her I wasn't working, she asked if I was having an off day. Before I could answer her, she started asking me why I was paying the bills of Mr. Kenji. To her, the name could hardly represent me for I am a Malay and that the name did not sound anywhere Malay-ish.

So when I replied to her first question telling her that I was not working at all and to her second (question), telling her that Mr. Kenji is my husband, she asked if children became my reason for not working. Her questions did not stop there, it went on and on as she happily helped process my bill payment. Affected, I decided to tell her a bit about myself. But after a brief self-introduction, she continued on with one more question (luckily it was her last, so it wasn't 'that' bad after all). And so she asked, "what did your mother say about you not working?"

Well, 'this' is 'the thing' with Singaporeans. Most Singaporeans (or Singaporean women rather) frowned at me for choosing not to work after obtaining a degree. They think I am being unjust to my parents for not paying my parents back all of the effort they have put in just to get me educated (actually I don't remember my parents telling me that they educate me so that I can have a job to pay them back. And I don't remember either understanding the idea that having a job = paying back).

Yet I understand people like the woman at the Post Office perfectly, but I have my own way. To me, most importantly, both my parents and parents-in-law are OK with the fact that married Marinah doesn't work. With that, it is perfectly fine with me that I hang around a bit.

Other than the above, there are other people who have reacted slightly differently to the fact that I am "not working YET". Last year, barely a month after returning home from Tassie, a male relative came up to me at a wedding and asked, "Have you got a job yet? My son is already working. He is now working in a bank."

Meanwhile a few others I met laughed at me for not having a job. They think I cannot get a job in Singapore because I graduated from an Australian university (practically, they are laughing at my dad, too, for he had stupidly invested in me for nothing). Others think it has, in one way or another, met their expectation that Australian uni graduates like me would come back home and not get a job afterwards because our certificates are not recognised. Most of these people too think that the standard of the Australian education system is lower than that of Singapore's (I don't know where they got it from) and that doing uni in Australia is a matter of second-best alternative to that of the local university, which, to me, is quite agreeable to an extent.

Then again, it is funny how I never got questioned from these people for opting not to work. It did come across me sometimes whether or not they really bother to understand the situation I am in. Well, it's not like I need them to, but I guess it is best to know 'things' first-hand than to believe in word of mouth or worse, to presume.

Yet as much as there are people like the above, there are also those who have been giving me support. My loving husband kept assuring me that I do not need to work, mum and dad have sincerely chosen not to interefere with decisions my husband and I make or will be making throughout our married life, and friends and relatives are happy to know that I am happy in which ever way I choose to live my life.

But a couple of days ago, I received a reply from an old secondary/high school/college friend, Hazman, to whom I wrote, "and for doing nothing too have made me 'the grief of' many adults!". His reply the next day was, "if you are still finding a job, drop me a mail by tonight. pasal (because) my library has a vacant ... tomorrow is the closing date ...". That sentence, I tell you, even if he did not mean it, didn't cease to amaze me! That night, I did not drop him a mail though because honestly, I am not really looking for a job. Nevertheless, I am thankful to Hazman for making a difference in my life. A big difference, indeed.

Hey, someone actually gave me a job instead of looking down on me for choosing to depend on my husband.